Jean Smart Makes Math Sexy in SNL's "Textbook Writer" Sketch
The September 28 Host plays a romance author who gives her publishers a new kind of word problem.
As authors like E.L. James can attest, writing romance novels can bring in big bucks — but what if one of them pivoted into the least sexy genre imaginable? That's the premise of Saturday Night Live's "Textbook Writer" sketch starring September 28 Season 50 premiere Host Jean Smart. In it, Smart plays the titular woman who meets with her publishers and learns they have an unforeseen words-problem with her word problems.
After an opening featuring new cast member Ashley Padilla, we meet author Barbara Berkman (Smart), who visits the Scholastic offices to meet her new book's publishers (played by Season 50 performers Ego Nwodim, Kenan Thompson, and Mikey Day).
"You know, when you asked me to do this, I said, 'Is Barbara Berkman really coming out of retirement to write a math book when all she's ever done is romance novels?" Smart said. "But I'm so glad I did."
But Berkman soon finds out her arithmetic is deemed too hot for textbooks.
RELATED: Watch Jean Smart's SNL Monologue & Every Sketch from September 28
SNL's "Textbook Writer" sketch is full of (math) problems
"Can I ask you to read the one at the top of page 96?" Nwodim's character asks the textbook writer, who readily agrees.
"William has five apples and the body of a god," she begins. "Clarissa watched in awe as he bit into the apple flesh, the sticky sweet juice running down his muscled neck and into the forbidden mystery that lay beneath his sweat stained undershirt. How many apples does William have now?"
Berkman doesn't see how her talent for romance writing seeped into her textbook, and continues to read the inappropriate material.
"Look, kids don't like math. I made it cool! I even made the cover cool," she says, revealing that the book is named Algebra Cove and features a sultry woman on a beach on its cover.
The math only gets smuttier as Berkman's editors try to steer her in another direction — until the receptionist (Padilla) interrupts with some surprising news abut student test scores.
"Well, well, well, well well," Smart's character tells them. "Looks like romance isn't dead. And just wait for the sequel."
Watch "Textbook Writer" from Saturday Night Live Season 50, Episode 1 above, and stream every season on Peacock anytime.
SNL's Season 50 premiere started with a cold open that not only welcomed back Maya Rudolph as Vice President Kamala Harris, but also introduced comedian Jim Gaffigan as her running mate Tim Walz, Dana Carvey as President Joe Biden, and Andy Samberg as Harris's husband Doug Emhoff. Watch it here.
