Dwight reveals that David Wallace has authorized him to hire a junior sales associate to cover for Jim while he's working in Philadelphia. Clark is miffed to hear that Dwight intends to bring in his buddies to interview; he thinks he deserves the job. But Dwight confesses he wants to hire someone who "gets" him; Clark has no chance.
Dwight's first candidate is his paintball pal Rolf. He's scary and uncouth - and he's sure he's getting the job. He tells Pam that he hopes she likes Norwegian Black Metal music, because he won't wear earbuds. Jim looks on nervously. He knows that whoever is going to sit at his old desk is either going to make Pam's life miserable or bearable. And Jim's got more concerns. With a major Athlead investor pulling out, his partners have asked him to approach David Wallace to join as an investor.
Dwight's next interview is with his buddy Trevor; he can't handle even the most basic sales questions. Meanwhile, Jim realizes that Clark would be a fine fit to fill his desk: he's clean, not obnoxious and his breath smells minty. Dwight begrudgingly interviews Clark. He nails every single question. He tells Dwight to give him the job. But Dwight pushes back, explaining he has many more friends left to interview. He brings his cousin Mose in next. When Dwight points out lies on his resume, Mose bolts out the door.
Clark waits in the outer office amongst Dwight's cadre of oddball candidates. There's Nate from the warehouse, another cousin of Dwight's, Dwight old babysitter, a classmate from Dwight's X-Men school. Pam, Oscar and the rest of the staff look on in horror. The only thing Dwight's candidates seem to have in common in body odor. Jim, realizing Pam has the most to lose if there's a bad hire, decides to call David Wallace for permission to get in on the hiring process. Dwight swoops in and puts the call on speakerphone. Wallace declares that Dwight owns the hiring process. David goes on to tell Jim that he's only going to get paid for the days he's actually in the office. Wallace then forces Jim to make his investor pitch to him on the phone - which Wallace cuts off immediately. Pam heads for the warehouse to work on her mural.
Wolf, Dwight's next buddy, sits down for an interview. Dwight role plays a sales call with him; Wolf's terrible. Hide from the warehouse tries next, but Dwight can't understand him. And so it goes - no one is really right. Finally Dwight pulls Jim into his office to help him out of his dilemma. Dwight knows none of his friends are right but can't figure out how to tell his pals the news without losing their friendship. Jim's got a plan. He emerges with Dwight from the office and gathers Dwight's friends en masse. He tells them they're amazing - but none are getting the job. Dwight screams in outrage, but Jim lies, telling them all that Wallace left him in charge and it's his decision.
Jim tells Clark he's got the job. And he passes the good news on to Pam before heading off to a board meeting in Philadelphia. Dwight's friends have all left in a huff to go play paintball. They've even sent Dwight a photo via email - a group shot in which they're all flipping him off; the caption reads "Glad you're not here." Dwight's sad, but Pam buoys his spirits with a great idea: hazing the new kid. Dwight's all smiles.
Dwight sneaks up behind Clark and covers his face in plastic food wrap. Clark struggles to breathe until Pam screams at Dwight to let him loose. In an interview we see Jim reflecting on how important one's co-workers are. They're basically the people you spend your life with, he says.
Dwight interviews candidates for a new sales position.