Long-Term Monogamy Is a Horror Movie in Dakota Johnson's Unaired SNL Sketch
The Materialists star played a woman who fears her romantic partner's become someone she doesn't recognize in this faux movie trailer.
Beware the demon who plagues long-term relationships — at least, according to this unaired sketch from Saturday Night Live Season 49.
When Dakota Johnson hosted on January 27, 2024, she starred in a bonus sketch called "Horny Little Dork." It explores the terrifying phenomenon of men in straight couples turning into, well, the title says it all. Johnson plays Shannon, a woman who's been in a relationship with a man named Dylan (Mikey Day) for nearly five years. But now, something is feeling...off.
"Dylan's great," she says. "It's just that sometimes he's...not himself."
She explains that most of the time, everything is normal, but then Dylan will catch a glimpse of her getting out of the shower and lose his mind (and his ability to speak normally).
"From the masters of horror at Blumhouse Studios comes a terrifying look at what awaits every woman a few years into a relationship," the narrator says.
Watch even more Saturday Night Live bonus sketches on Peacock here.
Shannon's friends (Season 49 cast members Heidi Gardner and Chloe Troast) reveal that their partners (Kenan Thompson and James Austin Johnson) have been doing the same thing. Thompson's character calls his wife "milady" while she begs him to stop speaking like a butler, while Troast's is awakened by Johnson doing a robot dance because he noticed she wasn't wearing a bra.
After several painful scenes in which Day and his fellow dorks hop around making deeply unsettling noises, the terrified women consult a doctor (Bowen Yang) who's been studying the phenomenon.
"I don't understand, doctor," Johnson's character asks him. "What happened to their game?"
RELATED: 13 Archival Photos of the First Saturday Night Live Cast, Hosts & Musical Guests
Mid-trailer, the narrator reads a review from "Steve Baker at Variety" that says, "Chilling. Thank god I don't act this way."
Then, a review from "Steve Baker's wife": "Uh, yeah you do."
Watch "Horny Little Dork," a bonus sketch from Season 49, Episode 10, above, and stream every episode of SNL anytime on Peacock.
"Horny Little Dork" was written by Mikey Day and Streeter Seidell
Day wrote the sketch alongside frequent collaborator and SNL co-head writer Streeter Seidell. Mike Diva, who helms most of SNL's pretaped sketches, directed the video.
Dakota Johnson has hosted SNL twice
Johnson, who currently stars in the new movie Materialists, first hosted in Season 40. The Fifty Shades of Grey star made her hosting debut on February 28, 2015 with Musical Guest Alabama Shakes, then returned in Season 49 with Musical Guest Justin Timberlake.
During her Season 49 appearance, Johnson also starred alongside Please Don't Destroy (Ben Marshall, John Higgins and Martin Herlihy) in a video that mostly consisted of Johnson roasting what she called "The Lonelier Island" before making a "nepo truce" with Herlihy and Higgins. Johnson is the daughter of stars Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson while Higgins and Herlihy are the sons of current SNL producer Steve Higgins and former longtime SNL writer Tim Herlihy.
RELATED: Dakota Johnson Names Her Favorite Part of Her "Roast" Sketch with Please Don't Destroy
While non-nepo baby Marshall looked on, Johnson, Herlihy, and Higgins pledged to no longer make fun of each other's parentage by putting their fists together and chanting, "A foot in the door and so much more."
Who wants to start the petition for Johnson to host again in Season 51?
