Colin Jost's Pete Hegseth Was Upstaged By Trump in SNL's Season Premiere Cold Open
The "Weekend Update" anchor made a rare sketch appearance in the first few minutes of Season 51.
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The first cold open of Saturday Night Live Season 51 immediately brought a surprise: Colin Jost put in a rare sketch appearance as Pete Hegseth, U.S. Secretary of Defense (or, as the former Fox News anchor is now called, the Secretary of War). The Pete Hegseth Cold Open parodied Hegseth's unusual September 30 meeting, in which he gathered military officers from their stations around the world to deliver a headline-making speech.
"Earlier this week, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth had the brilliant idea to gather all of our nation's top generals in one place at one time. And to throw our enemies off the scent, he told them exactly when and where it would happen," an announcer (Steve Higgins) explained at the top of the cold open. After an introduction from new cast member Jeremy Culhane, Jost's Hegseth stormed onstage amid blaring rock music. "Cut the track," he barked.
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Colin Jost brought out his Pete Hegseth impression in SNL Season 51's first cold open
After lamenting "fat" army officials as the real Hegseth did in his speech, Jost's version informed them that "From now on, our fighting men — and, I guess, women — are going to adhere to the highest male standard, which has been set by our president,Donald J. Trump: 6'6", buck 75, A-cups, perky, with a dump truck in the back you wouldn't even believe."
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"You don't want to follow the rules? Hey, no problem. You know who's going to want your sick, twisted, fat ass? ICE," he continued. "Got a sign-up sheet for ICE in the hallway, check them out. 'Cause in here, from now on, we're doing Army and Army only, and we will be doing it in one of the bloodiest, war-torn places on the face of the Earth: Portland, Oregon. Now back to the fat thing."
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But President Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) didn't want to let Hegseth hog the spotlight, so he interrupted, freezing Jost in the background the way the show loves to do.
"I'm just here, keeping my eye on SNL, making sure they don't do anything too mean about me," Johnson's Trump said, in reference to Jimmy Kimmel Live's recent suspension. And they better be careful, because I know late-night TV like the back of my hand," he added, revealing a discolored mark like the large bruise the real Trump has been seen with (the White House has said it's "because he’s constantly working and shaking hands all day every day.")
"Not looking great right now. Oh, don't look at that!" he said of the bruise. "Gonna cover this up for the rest of my life."
Watch SNL's "Pete Hegseth Cold Open" — briefly featuring Mikey Day as FCC Chairman Brendan Carr — above, and stream every Saturday Night Live episode on Peacock anytime.
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Andrew Dismukes previously played Pete Hegseth on SNL
Jost, whose prior cold open impressions include Jost's former Harvard dormmate Pete Buttigieg, has played Pete Hegseth once before in a Season 50 cold open co-starring Cecily Strong. But fellow cast member Andrew Dismukes took a crack at a Hegseth impersonation in Mikey Madison's "Group Chat Cold Open," which poked fun at the time Hegseth famously texted unsecured war plans on the Signal app. Watch that below.
