All About Alan Cumming & Grant Shaffer's Relationship History: "Lovely, Kind & Hilarious"
The Traitors host and his creative husband had not one but two weddings five years apart.
If Emmy Award-winning actor Alan Cumming can teach audiences one thing, it’s that true love — and his impeccable taste in fashion — lasts forever.
The coffin has closed on The Traitors’ nail-biting third season, leaving its legendary and distinguished host time to spend with his loved ones before the series’ highly anticipated Seasons 4 and 5, both of which have been confirmed.
It’s easy to imagine Alan spending some much-deserved downtime with his long-time partner and husband, Grant Shaffer, a power couple for the ages.
Here’s everything to know about their enduring relationship.
Who is Grant Shaffer?
Alan Cumming's husband, Grant Shaffer, is an accomplished illustrator and photographer. With more than 30 years as part of New York City’s art scene, the San Francisco-born creative has had his work featured in a bunch of big-deal magazines, including The New Yorker, The New York Times, and The Interview, according to his work portfolio.
Shaffer’s storyboard ideas have been seen across numerous television, film, and music platforms, but his handiwork set the bar in his and Alan’s very own children’s book, The Adventures of Honey and Leon, published in 2017 by Penguin Random House.
When not tapping into his creative flow, Shaffer teaches at Manhattan’s School of Visual Arts and the Hetrick-Martin Institute, a non-profit organization serving the city's LGBTQ+ youth.
How did Alan Cumming & spouse Grant Shaffer meet?
The 60-year-old BAFTA winner explained in a January 4, 2020, interview with the British magazine Closer how he and Grant Shaffer met ... and how he knew Shaffer was the one.
“We met through friends in New York. He’s lovely, kind, and hilarious, but he’s also the first person who hasn’t wanted to change me,” Alan told the outlet. “We respect each other, and we were a little bit older when we met, so you know yourself more and are more respectful.”
How long have Alan Cumming & partner Grant Shaffer been together?
The couple wed as part of a civil partnership in London on January 7, 2007, before same-sex marriage was legalized in 2015 across all 50 states, as announced by the actor’s spokesperson, Bianca Bianconi, and reported by NBC’s TODAY. The ceremony came after the men dated for two years.
“Not only are we so happy to be able to celebrate our love for each other, but also to be able to do it in a country that properly recognizes the rights of same-sex couples,” Bianconi stated on Alan’s behalf. “As residents of America, we would have loved to marry there, but we hope that soon, the civil rights that we have been afforded in the U.K. will be available to all gay Americans, and we look forward to celebrating not only our marriage but the end of prejudice.”
Those in attendance included actor Ian McKellen, Rufus Wainwright, Monica Lewinsky, and other celebrities.
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Exactly five years later, the husbands legally married at the luxurious Soho Grand Hotel in Manhattan, months after same-sex marriage was legalized in New York state, as reported by People.
“On the fifth anniversary of our wedding in London, Grant and I tied the knot again in NYC!!!!” Alan posted on X, the social media platform formerly known as Twitter.
On January 7, 2025, Alan posted a wedding photo on Instagram for the couple’s 18th wedding anniversary, captioning, “We’re still laughing.”
Between them, the men share three homes: one in Manhattan, one in upstate New York, and another in Cumming’s Scottish homeland, as profiled in the U.K.’s Home & Garden.
All about Grant Shaffer & Alan Cumming's pets
Alan and Grant are the proud dads to a couple of adorable — and pretty famous — rescue pets. In fact, the aforementioned children’s book, The Adventures of Honey and Leon, was a tribute to their own dogs, “based on their frequent conversations about what Leon and Honey get up to while they’re away.”
Since then, the animal advocates adopted their black rescue pup, Lala, and Jerry, the latter of whom sadly passed away in early 2024, as announced on Alan’s Instagram page.
Alan once told PBS’s Mystery that he adopted Lala from Costa Rica after she gave birth to a litter of puppies. Others had adopted Lala’s offspring, though none showed interest in adopting Lala. He said he “couldn’t believe” it because she was “the most cute dog in the world.”
"Within 48 hours of her being with us, she was mentioned in Page Six, the gossip column for the New York Post,” he said. “Because that is my life.”
Thank goodness The Traitors’ Ardross Castle is pet-friendly, because Lala had a few notable scenes as the show’s unofficial mascot, as previously reported by NBC Insider. Viewers be warned: Lala gave her tartan-donning dad a run for his money with her super fashionable ensembles.
Lala also joined Alan on the Thursday, March 6, 2025, episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon following The Traitors’ Season 3 finale.
Be sure to catch up on Season 3 of The Traitors, now available to watch on Peacock.
