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"That Fragile Hour"

I've really stepped in it. I took this job thinking that street medicine could not possibly be a den of political B.S. Apparently I was wrong.

I'm no boy scout. Let me just make that clear. I've traveled. I've worked at a lot of different kinds of jobs. But when I finally decided to settle in one place, I purposely chose a profession where I could make a difference. Something where I could help people. Save lives. A calling -- you know?

You're probably like, "Whatever, dude. You're just an EMT." Yeah, I am an EMT. I'm an EMT who wants to be a paramedic. I'm an EMT who wants to be the best damn emergency medicine paramedic with all the tricks of the trade up my sleeve and under my belt. Part Nancy, part Rabbit. Trained up to the highest level. Tactical and all. The best of the best.

But when you throw the politics of all the departments into this mix, everything seems to get hinky. All I did was tell the truth. And now all this crap is raining down on me. I mean, I get that things aren't always black and white. But this kind of grey isn't cool with me.

I understand the code. I understand the intimidation factor. I see both sides of this. I do. Lyons makes some good points -- a gangbanger who shoots innocent bystanders needs to know that he's gonna pay, one way or another. Especially since this isn't his first serious offense. I get that. But my points are equally valid -- when Lyons was railing on him, the guy was already in handcuffs. What could he really do besides mouth off? I mean, aren't we supposed to be better than them? Aren't we supposed to rise above? Take the high road?

Maybe some of you think I'm crazy. That I'm being naïve. And that's your prerogative. But I figure we all take oaths to serve and protect in our own ways. And if we say it, we should live it. And if we don't, we should be held accountable.

So, now you're probably saying that I should be held accountable for the incident with that bum, Naz. Sure, I could justify it as protecting my partner. And I do. But if it comes back around to bite me in the ass, I won't deny it happened. I'll stand up for what I believe and face the consequences. That's all I'm saying.

I'm gonna go put some ice on my knuckles now. Catch you guys later...

Pace a voi.

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