Andy's Diary from the Movie Set

1 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Dear Diary: What a day! My first real film shoot. I finally made it. "HPRDC Chemical Handling Protocols." I pitched the title "Ghost Machine…
2 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
I know I'm going to forget all the cool details once my career starts to skyrocket, so I want to take the time now to record all the lessons…
3 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Lesson 1: Showbiz Is a Thankless Job When I first walked onto the set, I noticed a lot of taped "X's" on the floor, so I removed them. Nobod…
4 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Lesson 2: Hair & Makeup Is Pretty Limiting I inquired gently from the makeup guy about a pedicure and/or foot massage. If the dictionary had…
5 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
But honestly, I think we could have skipped a lot of time in the makeup chair if he had just given me the massage. If you feel good, you lo…
6 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Lesson 3: Not Every Star Gets the "Star Treatment" I'd heard about those fancy trailers, but this shoot didn't have any. I figured they wan…
7 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
I did eventually get a "dressing room" (which they made to look a lot like a men's room). Again, pretty gritty.
8 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Lesson 4: Film Lights Are Actually Very Hot When someone says "don’t touch that," what are you going to do? I blame my agent Carla on that o…
9 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
The makeup guy wasn't too happy when he saw my tears smudged my makeup. Seriously, that guy put the "touchy" in "touch-up." Ha, I'll have to…
10 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Lesson 5: Actors Have the Hardest Job on the Set You might think it's the guy carrying all the heavy equipment at 4am, but you'd be wrong. A…
11 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
So I had to be director and writer, too. Like Babs Streisand! For what it's worth, I imagined I was a chemistry teacher from St. Louis with …
12 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Lesson 6: Film Sets Have Their Own Language Everyone knows "action" means go and "cut" means stop, but there's a bunch of others.
13 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
I'm not sure why it's called this, but there was a whole table of FREE snacks that everybody referred to as "crap service." Maybe 'cause it'…
14 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
There's a person called "the gaffer" and I thought it was because he always makes mistakes. I was wrong, and he was kind of offended. But pu…
15 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
There's a person called a "key grip" but he wouldn't hold onto my car keys. He probably has too many other keys to deal with.
16 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Finally they make "idiot cards" if you can't remember your lines. Just like "cue cards," but on this set, they insisted on calling them "idi…
17 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Lesson 7: Actors Need Two Different Signatures As soon as I was done filming, people were all over me to sign legal stuff. So you need a dif…
18 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Anyway, I'm still working on a fan autograph. It will have to be super cool. I hope I'll be able to fit a smiley face in there somewhere.
19 of 20
The Office - Season 9
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
I still can't believe that this is actually happening. So future me, if you're reading this, stay humble and remember to not "Anne Hathaway"…
20 of 20
Andy's Diary from the Movie Set
Love and hugs, Andy "Nard Dog" Bernard