As he consumes his disaster-planning foodstuffs before they go bad, Dwight is grossing his office co-workers out. He scoffs, letting them know they're almost all likely to perish in any coming apocalypse. Pressed by Jim to reveal when the disaster is coming, Dwight carefully considers an ad naseum a number of scenarios. They're all plausible, Jim agrees.
Michael's best sales road buddy, Todd Packer, meets with Holly and gets her approval to join the branch as a permanent member of the staff. Kevin and Michael are elated, but the rest of the team is shocked. They complain to Holly, but without concrete reasons, she's not about to reverse her decision.
Michael sets Packer up at his old desk; the only problem being is that it's currently being used by Dwight. But, revealing that he carved his name under the very same desk long before Dwight came along, Packer prevails; Dwight is relegated to the annex.
Erin is enjoying a new desk computer, courtesy of office administrator Pam. Soon others are lobbying for new PCs too. Andy actually convinces Erin to give her new machine to him, but Pam forces him to return it.
After witnessing several ugly displays from Packer, Holly concludes that he is in fact a class-A jerk. Michael is truly incredulous. Packer is one of the funnest - and funniest - guys he knows.
In the guise of a peace offering, Dwight offers Packer a laxative-laden cup of hot chocolate. Fearing that Dwight's about to poison the new employee, Jim intercepts. Jim's all in favor of pranking Packer, but suggests something a little milder. But Dwight's looking for an idea with more edge. Jim tells him he'll email a list to him. Dwight reviews Jim's list of pranks. It's a random assortment and in fact Jim has pulled a prank of his own on Dwight, altering Dwight's desk drawer so that it only opens part way.
Andy's upset at Pam for how she humiliated him front of the team - and determined to get a new computer. In the conference room she explains to him that they can't afford a new computer for everyone. If his breaks completely, she tells him, then she can get him a new one. Andy takes note and immediately returns to his desk and begins surfing to as many dangerous sites as he can online, in the hopes of destroying his aging machine. On the sly, Pam gets him a new machine, insisting that they scuff it up and tell the office that it was discovered in a corner of the warehouse.
Sensing his friend is rubbing everyone the wrong way, Michael takes Packer aside and encourages him to use his charm on the office. They return to the office and Packer gives a public but half-hearted apology to Kevin for calling him fat. Kelly confronts him for his disingenuousness - and the others pile on too. Michael tries to defend his friend. Packer grows more ingratiating, but no one's happy.
Dwight and Jim hatch a plot to get Packer: using disguised voices, they call him with a job offer to come work at Sabre corporate headquarters; he should immediately come down to Sabre President Jo Bennett's compound in Florida, where they encourage him to jump the fence and just head on back to the pool.
Michael discovers the scheme and tries to stop it. But before he can reveal the plot to Packer, his old friend insults Holly. Michael realizes Packer is an ass of the first order. He lets Packer head off to go embarrass himself in Florida. Holly comforts Michael and tells him he did the right thing.
Darrell confronts Pam about Andy's new computer. He knows every corner of the warehouse and asks Pam for some additional sick days in exchange for keeping quiet. Pam agrees, pleased at her corrupt sense of problem solving.
Michael's favorite Dunder Mifflin traveling salesman, Todd Packer, shows up at the office wanting a desk job.