Where’s Thousand Island? I’ve got some vacation time saved up and it sounds like a delicious place to visit.

Root beer floats. It does. I’ve tested it.

There’s a fat man that sits by me. He has some sort of jar of multi-colored power beans. I need those beans, man.

The last thing I want to deal with at work is people.

I’m thinking about buying a horse. Great for transportation and once you’re done with it, you’ve got about seven days worth of meals.

Never trust mailmen.

Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 20-22-36.

The worst part about Raisin Bran is the bran. Hands down.

I saw a man fishing bottles out of a garbage can yesterday and it reminded me of a funny story.

I don’t like hockey. They should get rid of the pucks and put those shoe blades on their sticks – then you’d have a game on your hands.

To be a good pick pocket, you’ve got to look like a regular Joe. Don’t dress up in fancy colors or jewelry. That’s where the Gypsies have it wrong. Pair of slacks, t-shirt, hat – that’s all you need. And it helps to have tiny hands, too.

I’ve had enough of this LBJ character.

If I had to pick between a chimp and a spider, I’d take the chimp. Harder to forget where you left it.

Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 26-22-30.

Hey-o, everyone out there in SyberWorld. It’s old Creed Bratton coming at your again, here from my perch as a Quality Assurance Manager at Dunder Mifflin paper. Just a few observations on the world around me.

What do you guys think is the best kind of car? To me, you can’t beat motorcycles. They’re small, and dangerous.

I got into a car accident yesterday and I just took off. It didn’t look too bad. The guy was making a big deal out of it, but come on – dogs don’t live forever.

Sometimes when I’m sick, or feeling blue, I drink vinegar. I like all kinds: balsamic, vodka, orange juice, leaves.

Working in an office is fine, but I’d rather be a millionaire. [Elaborate on this. It’s interesting. Maybe Trademark it, too.]

Today in my office where I work as Director of Quality Assurance, we went to the beach for some reason that was never adequately explained. When we were there, our manager told us to eat hot coals. I thought that was a little bit untoward so I ate a fish. Then a woman I have literally never seen before in my entire life started talking very loudly about something involving Halpert. She was agitated, I’d say. From what I could guess, she was definitely on drugs of some kind, perhaps cocaine, or maybe ‘drines. Also, she is a knock-out. She reminds me of a young Daphne Du Maurier. Also, I stupidly ate the fishbones. I told myself “never again” after the last time, but then you turn around, and bam, they’re in my mouth. I also ate 55 hot dogs in 15 minutes, which is a world record.

Everybody remembers: “April showers bring May flowers.” But no one remembers how the rest of that goes. Which I find so frustrating.

Prediction: the Orioles will win the World Series over the Pirates in seven games.

Prediction: the space program will be renamed the Outer Space Program by 2060.

Prediction: someday we will be able to travel faster than sound. We will “break the sound barrier.”

Prediction: [note – need more predictions.]

Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 26-32-20.