The writers group Leigh has been trying to get into just accepted her. She should be thrilled but actually it's awful news for Leigh, because well, she's dipping her toe into her thirties and doesn't have a nice enough place to host a bunch of people once a month, so the writers will see that her couch is still the same ratty one she's had since college! She hits up Mike to help her buy a couch. But Mike's seen this movie a hundred times before; this time he's going to wean her off the familial udder. Annie tells him that, based on experience, Leigh's problems are cheaper if dealt with swiftly. Mike caves and agrees to buy Leigh a new couch, if only to get her off his back. Mike heads off to the station; he's looking forward to a hard-hitting live interview Harris has set up. But the "get" Harris has for Mike is actually an interview with an internet sensation - a cat that sort of sounds like it's saying "hello." Mike's sails are deflated.
Eve comes home from school heated: Ian has stolen her gym bag and replaced her clothes with a sailor costume. She admits that her brother is probably just retaliating for the time she stole the last mozzarella stick. But now this is serious. She lets her brother know if he wants a prank war, she will give him a prank war. Eve starts her prank offensive with a decoy - plastic wrapping on the toilet. But Ian's not falling for such a simple ploy. Daunted, Eve takes it to another level. She creates a fake LinkedIn profile of a "mysterious startup CEO" who wants to reach out to Ian for an interview. Ian's ego spikes and he immediately prepares for what he can only assume will be a life-changing opportunity. Advantage: Eve.
Mike gets a call from Leigh while he's at work: she bought a vintage paisley couch but really thinks it could use some new upholstery. Mike finally decides to put his foot down and he tells Leigh she has to start providing for herself. After refusing to pay for the new upholstery, Leigh shows up at Mike's place later that night in nothing but a bed towel. That couch Mike refused to upholster? It's covered in bed bugs, and Leigh was forced to evacuate, leaving all her clothes behind! She's so bummed that she has to stay at a hotel... Mike understands what's going on and offers to let Eve sleep at his place. Within a day, Mike realizes his mistake, as Leigh spends all her time watching trashy reality TV and inadvertently leaving her lotion on everything she touches.
Mike is beyond excited when he gets a call from the exterminator telling him they'll be there later in the day to fumigate Leigh's apartment. Thank God, Mike won't have to sleep on the couch anymore. He can actually have his spot in the bed back from Leigh! Harris gives Mike even better news - they're upgrading him from interviewing cats and actually snagged Mike a legitimate person to speak with: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. Mike is so excited he rushes home to prep for the interview and catch up on his sleep. But when Mike comes home to see Eve watching reality TV with Leigh, Graham walking around naked, and Ian in a super expensive suit he bought with his grandma's savings bond (at the advice of Leigh), Mike realizes his sister is having terrible effects on his children.
Instead of just confronting the problem directly, Mike moves his interview prep into the bathroom, where he can finally have some peace and quiet. When Annie finds her husband in his pathetic situation, he begs her to help him kick his sister out. Annie agrees to take Leigh out for some drinks and butter her up before dropping the hammer. Later, Annie and Leigh come home from their dinner date drunk and wake Mike up from his couch slumber. It's 2:00 a.m.! Unable to stop partying, Annie and Leigh order pizza and ultimately throw up on the couch. All this keeps Mike from getting his rest. The next day at work, Mike is so sleep-deprived that he falls asleep live on air with Chris Christie, just as the Governor starts to make a major announcement!
Eve reveals her evil plan to defeat Ian. Writing as the fake CEO, she requests a face-to-face interview with Ian at a restaurant. Ian wears his expensive suit to "make a killer first impression" and comes early to the restaurant. But when Eve sees the disappointment in Ian's eyes when the "CEO" doesn't, she realizes her prank isn't funny, it's downright mean. Eve sends Ian an email as the fake CEO, telling him they would have hired Ian immediately had they not just moved their offices to Poughkeepsie. Ian tells Eve he's heading off to Poughkeepsie to finally meet the CEO in person, and she realizes the prank has completely gone off the rails. She chases her brother to the train station and tells him it was all a prank, but Ian still confidently boards the train. He may not have it all together now, but Eve knows someday her brother will be unstoppable.
Mike comes home from his embarrassing interview to find Leigh pole dancing in his living room. What happened to the exterminators? Leigh found out their chemicals were toxic and turned them away. Exasperated, Mike tells his sister she's become a bed bug in his home! Mike bribes the exterminators into giving him the necessary chemicals, and then does the spraying himself. But as he's spraying down her apartment, Mike sees some old photos and realizes the value of family. When he goes back upstairs, he finds Leigh giving everyone mud facials. Ian comes back from Poughkeepsie with a suit sales job, having impressed a stranger on the train with his attire. Mike realizes Leigh may linger sometimes, but she really just wants to be around family. And in the end, that's fine by Mike.
When Leigh gets bedbugs in her apartment, Mike brings her into his home and chaos ensues; Chris Christie guest stars.