The Marriage Ref

David and Michael have been happily married for one year… but a woman still stands between them. Yes, David has installed a life-sized, plastic sculpture of Betty Boop in their kitchen, right in the spot where Michael would prefer to have a small kitchen table, the only place to sit. David argues that the space is too small for a table, and no, Betty isn't tacky, she's kitschy. And who doesn't like Betty Boop?

Nathan offers to field the question, fearing that it may singlehandedly put an end to the fight for gay marriage. At least it proves that gay couples can be just as stupid as straight ones. If this couple were straight, there would be a stuffed polar bear in the kitchen wearing a New York Giants sweatshirt, and the wife would insist on dumping it in the garage. And did anyone else notice that the couple's dog wants to pee on Betty?

Tom complicates matters with the information that Michael has a celebrity doll collection, which includes a Cher Barbie doll. Kathy decides that she's pro-Boop along with Tracy, pointing out that Tracy has hit on her assistant, every wife on the show, and now a statue. Down with O.P.P, Tracy warns Nathan to watch himself, because he might be next.

Rather than make the call himself, Tom decides to hand the reins to Kathy, since she's an expert on the subject of gay men. Insisting that she's "the gayest dude on the panel," Kathy steps up and makes her ruling on behalf of David.

"Betty Boop is a beloved American icon who unifies all people regardless of their seuxual orientation," Kathy declares. "With her help, I think we can march on Washington and change things!

The Salinero-Wighs received a Second Honeymoon on a Royal Caribbean Cruise. For more information on Royal Caribbean's Explorer of the Seas or Mariner of the Seas, please visit royalcarribbean.com.

Travel journals coming soon!