The Marriage Ref

Greg Hunter loves his wife Dianah. And after nine years of marriage, he knows it's a good idea to keep thinking about how to keep the romance alive. For his part, he's bought his wife 50 pairs of thong underwear (which she really has no interest in wearing) and they tell each other they love each other every night. But Greg's fixated on a fantasy: Dianah performing on a stripper pole in the bedroom. He describes the romantic scene: "It's Saturday night, you and I are here alone. We put some rap music on… you'd be twirling all around that pole." Dianah is clear: this is not her idea of a romantic evening. "You will never, in capital letters, NEVER, have a stripper pole in this house."

Greg is determined. "I'm going to get one, I'm going to keep it in the garage and hang it on the wall like a fishing pole." Dianah is amazed she isn't getting through. "Listen to me," Greg says, "I'm the man of the household." Dianah doesn't miss a beat. "Yeah? Well then you get on it." Greg switches gears: "It's not a stripper pole. It's an exercise pole." Finally he pleads: "Baby, this is something that I've always wanted." But it's to no avail. "You know what?" Dianah retorts, "People in hell want ice water. But that doesn't mean they're gonna get it."

Host and Marriage Ref Tom Papa looks to his panel of Alec Baldwin, Kelly Ripa, and Jerry Seinfeld for their take. Alec is impressed at Greg making the case for men everywhere, but has to conclude that if she doesn't want to do it, it's a ridiculous idea. Kelly's more encouraging "She looks like maybe she could get freaky-deeky with him and they would enjoy it, but he's talking about it like it's a fishing pole." Jerry's rooting for Greg, but wonders what would happen after the first few performances: "It's still one guy in the dark, clapping." Still, he's advocates that they give it a try--whatever keeps the passion alive is a good thing.

Tom brings the Hunters back via satellite to explain his decision: it's bad news for Greg. He's disappointed and makes a last desperate bid, showering his wife with even more thong underwear. Alas, it's not to be.

The Hunters received a Second Honeymoon on a Royal Caribbean Cruise. For more information on Royal Caribbean's Explorer of the Seas or Mariner of the Seas, please visit royalcarribbean.com.

Travel journals coming soon!