Dear Future Aram,

So today was really fun! And that's a funny, funny joke, because it was not fun, but instead, pretty intensely crappy.

We are having this problem at work, where they think someone is secretly divulging classified information. They brought me in for, like, an interrogation, which involved a polygraph machine. I've been polygraphed before, fine, whatever. But this person was basically quoting me - from my confidential psych evaluation. In what world is that okay?

And everyone else got the same treatment, so of course everybody is on edge, wondering who's responsible and why. It's stomach-churning, thinking that someone you work with - one of your friends - is secretly betraying, well, everybody. I mean, I guess it's to be expected when you work with spies and secret agents and stuff. But I've worked with spies before - and it never felt like this.

Part of me is wondering who would betray us? Who would have incentive to do that? It makes no sense. But then I have to stop myself. Meera, Don, Liz, Director Cooper - these are my friends. (Well, Director Cooper is more of a boss than a friend-friend. But still.) The leak could have come from anywhere. So, actively, and with willful disregard of any empirical evidence, I'm going to assume it came from somewhere else. Otherwise, how do I work with these people? And, by the way, we're saving peoples' lives, like, all the time.

So, on a completely unrelated note (ha), I've found out that polygraph machines are basically pseudoscience. People call them lie detectors. But they don't really detect lies. Yes, they use really cool ideas like measuring changes in skin conductivity (WHAT?!). But basically the majority of scientists say there are significant incidences of false positives, even when administered by the best professionals. In other words, it's easy for them to think you're lying, even if you're telling the truth.

Really great. I'm probably going to jail or something.

Your Friend,
Past Aram

Recent Posts