Deep Thoughts

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Deep Thoughts
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
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Deep Thoughts
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
3 of 11
Deep Thoughts
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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Deep Thoughts
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
5 of 11
Deep Thoughts
If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat).
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Deep Thoughts
Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
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Deep Thoughts
If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
8 of 11
Deep Thoughts
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
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Deep Thoughts
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to …
10 of 11
Deep Thoughts
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but …
11 of 11
Deep Thoughts
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.