Nothing Special

You know when you're a little kid and some teacher or guidance counselor asks what you think you'll be when you're grown up? Yeah. I'm pretty sure if I'd told any of them, "I'm gonna be a tour guide for God," they would have locked me up and thrown away the key. But here I am, a crazy Nano-god event planner - walking it/them through a murderer's row of music, food and fashion. I'm the "WE Channel" for Priscilla, Queen of the Universe. Somebody please kill me.

Now that the Nano are in human mode, they want to experience every facet of "life." Sure, they already know everything about everything, but as Priscilla is so keen to explain, it's not the same to simply "know." You have to "do." (Thank you, Nano-Yoda.) So I've shown her art (well - comic books, basically); theater (a one-man performance of "The Last Starfighter"); ice cream (or something close to it, using the whole "plastic bag, ice and rock salt" thingy I learned when I was seven); and now, music (which was Starship, so I use that term liberally). I have to keep doing this, because if I don't, they'll simply find someone else to be their guide.

I know this because I'm not special. For some reason, I thought I was. I thought I was the only person the Nano had chosen to commune with, but apparently they've been reaching out to others - 3,289 others, actually. Even Miles. Sadly, there was a part of me - just a tiny, little Lunchables-sized part - that enjoyed the idea I was ordained, so to speak. You know, I kinda wonder how the Virgin Mary would have felt if, instead of the Angel Gabriel coming to her and saying, "Behold, you're going to give birth to the Son of God," he told her, "So you're going to have one of God's many many many illegitimate children. I mean, you're still special and all, Mar, but we've given out like 3,000 other kids to virgins, too, you know, just in case yours turn out to be a dud." Christmas would have turned out really weird. 

But the Nanotech are different now. When they first appeared to me as Alex Donegan, they were filled with wonder. All they wanted was to please me. To help and understand humanity. But with Priscilla, there's a distance, a weird sense of menace. They don't seem to care or even like us anymore. Is that my fault? Was their experience with me so bad it jaded them on all of humanity?

Either way, it seems we're stuck with each other. They need us for something and I'm starting to get the feeling it's not just about experiencing the wonders of this world. They're experimenting on us - but for what? And why? Who else are they talking to beside me and Miles? Until I get answers, I'll have to keep playing along or they'll kill Priscilla. But I'm terrified of how far I'll have to go to get her back. All of this started simply with food and music; but I have to wonder... where will it all end? 

- Aaron Pittman

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