Ben introduces the team to the new Pawnee website, which contains a variety of new functions and features to make things much easier. Unfortunately, everyone is immediately distracted by an animated cartoon panda bear that graces the page, especially when it puts on a top hat and dances. Ron congratulates Ben on creating an excellent Panda game.
Back at the office, Leslie and Ben use the new Pawnee website to create a poll that allows Pawneeans and Eagletonians to vote on a new town slogan, but Crazy Ira and The Douche use their radio program to hijack the poll and push ridiculous write-in slogans to the top. So far, the submission with the most votes is "Welcome to Pawnee, Home of the Stick Up Leslie Knope's Butt."
Andy is frustrated with his progress on the Unity Concert. He's responsible for finding bands to play at the concert, but so far he's found nothing. Craig recommends a few Eagleton venues that Andy may be able to harvest for talent. He attends a little-known jazz club in Eagleton and witnesses the unthinkable: Ron Swanson performing as Duke Silver! The next day, Andy approaches Ron with the news. Ron immediately retires from jazz music, but Andy encourages him to keep going, promising that he'll keep Ron's secret.
Meanwhile, Tom solicits help from Donna and April to find a venue for his new restaurant, Tom's Bistro. Donna and April deliberately show Tom a number of inadequate properties to deter him from opening a bistro and leaving the Parks Department. Eventually, they decide that their selfish motivations are hindering Tom's professional progress. They find the perfect property to house Tom's new restaurant, and Tom promises to always keep a table open for his two favorite customers.
Frustrated that her town slogan poll is getting hijacked. Leslie decides to hold a public forum regarding the slogan debacle. Ben suggests that she practice her delegation skills by letting Larry run the meeting. It's incredibly difficult for Leslie to relinquish control, but she manages to make it through the meeting, despite a number of glaring grammatical errors in the winning town slogan: "When Your Here, Than Your Home."
A week later, the residents of Pawnee christen the town's welcome sign with their new slogan, which Leslie has grammatically corrected. Unfortunately, the crew installed the sign facing the wrong way, so it welcomes you to Pawnee as you're leaving town. She's still nervous about the National Parks job, but Ben assures Leslie that doubting herself is the stupidest thing she's ever done.
Leslie's "New Town Slogan" poll gets hijacked, Andy discovers Ron's deep, dark secret and Tom finds a venue for his new restaurant.