"Scary ride... scary ride!!" Years ago, our next-door neighbor Jessica talked us into taking Frankie and his brother with her and her children to a local amusement park. I was pretty sure this wasn't a great idea; but Jessica can be very persuasive, so we headed out. And I'm glad we did - in the end, even though there were a couple of small meltdowns over minor misinterpretations of the rules, Frankie ultimately had a great time. We all did. Frankie even declared the roller coaster his favorite after his friend Hannah coaxed him to take a ride. After one ride, he was hooked: he rode with Hannah over and over again, yelling, "Scary ride, scary ride," all the way up and down the rails.

Over the years, as our children have grown into teenagers, we have often repeated this quote of Frankie's whenever we have entered into a new, potentially frightening phase of childhood development. I completely understand Kristina's angst and fear. Dropping Frankie off at public school was definitely one of the most difficult things I have ever done.

I talked about Frankie's desire to go to our public high school in a blog from last season. Ultimately, we decided to give it a try. Frankie is now into his second month at the high school, and despite all of our fears, our nagging of the teachers, our frantic attempts to get information, our worrying him about what's happening, he is having a seemingly great year so far. As you can probably tell, I haven't completely given up my anxiety. I guess that is the point. No parent ever really gives up that fear of not being able to keep his or her child completely safe. I know this is true for neurotypical children, but I can tell you from experience the fear is much more intense for a child with ASD.

There are a few things I would like to emphasize about the transition from one school to another. When any child with a disability diagnosis is admitted to a public school setting, there is a process for evaluation that leads to a meeting called an Individual Education Plan Team Meeting. At this meeting - which should ideally take place before school starts - the parents are able to meet all of the individuals who will be involved with their child in the new school setting. This group should include, among others, administrators, teachers and para-professional aides. Together, in consultation with the parents, this team will discuss the child's diagnosis, the evaluations that have been completed, the kinds of interventions that have been helpful to accommodating the disability and those that haven't. In addition to everyone getting to know one another and getting to know the child, during the course of the meeting, a plan is developed to work with the child, the school personnel and the family to make the year successful.

If this process proceeds well for the Bravermans, then many of the fears that Kristina experiences and acts out during this episode will be relieved. Hopefully, all of the issues related to communication have been worked out; there is a sense on the part of the parent about what is going on at school; and there is a sense on the part of the school personnel about the parents and the family.

We have been in several school situations with Frankie over the past nine years; some schools have done a much better job of planning the transition to a new school or even a new school year than others. Like most situations in life, the success depends on the people involved.

I want teachers and other school personnel to know that parents know their children better than anyone else. The parents are the experts on their child. And I want parents to remember that - even though you may feel intimidated - as parents you have the most knowledge about your child. You are really running the show. You are the expert. Don't ever allow anyone to take that power away from you. Remember, you alone truly have the very best interests of your child at heart. The school and its personnel are there to provide your child and you with a service. Your job is to make sure that the service received is satisfactory to you and, most importantly, your child.

Written by: Roy Q. Sanders, M.D.