"You wouldn't turn your back on a friend. But if your friend or family member is into drugs and alcohol, and you look away, that's exactly what you're doing."
— Sarah Chalke, Scrubs

Talking To A Child

Approaching the subject of substance abuse can be difficult and uncomfortable. If you want to talk with your kids about it, be sure to start early. The sooner you begin talking, the easier it will be to add onto the conversation as they grow. It is much easier to discuss substance abuse before there is a problem. In addition, if you state your views and values early on, they will grow up understanding your position. Look for everyday events to approach the subject, such a news story. Attempt to make the discussion about substance abuse and on-going discussion rather than a lecture or "talk." This will be more comfortable for you and your child. You do not have to be an expert on drugs and alcohol, but do some homework. Make sure you know your facts because kids will do research, and if your facts are wrong, you could lose credibility.

Set a good example. Kids will watch what you do and will imitate your actions. If you are abusing drugs and alcohol, it will be difficult for your children to understand why you say it's wrong for them.

It may help your child to role-play how to say "no." Peer pressure is difficult to combat as a young person, and it is important to equip your child with creative ways to say no. Along with this, help your child know what characteristics make a good friend.

Lastly, help foster good self-esteem. It is very important for children to have high self-esteem because they are less likely to become involved in substance abuse. Offer lots of praise for jobs well done.

Talking To A Friend

Talking with a friend about substance abuse is not easy because you do not want to lose their friendship. Be sure the timing is right when you approach the conversation. Try not to confront your friend in front of others or in a setting where he or she will feel uncomfortable and defensive.

Try to use "I" messages when approaching the conversation. You can use messages such as, "I feel this way when you do this," or "It really hurts me to see you doing…." Try to make the conversation just that - a conversation. It is best if the conversation does not feel like a lecture.

You are trying to help your friend, but do not be surprised if he or she gets mad or upset. Expect the worst scenario before you begin talking. No matter what happens, it is important that your friend knows you are there to support them, and will continue to be. Try to maintain a good relationship and really work at it.

Lastly, offer help. If your friend is ready to get help, have agencies, hotline numbers, and web site addresses available. You might even offer to go with them to get help.