School, work, phones, internet, TV, life. Let’s face it – every family gets pulled in a million different directions. You would think between the emails, pagers, cell phones, you guys shouldn’t be that hard to reach, right? Wrong. But, you can do something about it. Set aside some family time, and pull yourselves together! Talk with each other…keep your family connected!

Spending time together as a family and communicating with each other are important factors in the development of children. Good family communication can help them to critically express their needs, wants, desires, hopes and dreams. It can also help parents and caretakers understand how to nurture their children. Family communication can also build self-esteem, assist with problem solving, bring family members closer together, teach children to be good communicators and establish a level of respect for family members. Working on family communication early in your children’s lives enables you to build on conversations throughout their lives, making difficult issues easier to discuss later.

Talking is important in communication and listening is just as important. In order to have good communication, the person speaking needs to feel like he or she is being heard and understood, and that the person listening really cares about the conversation. Active listening skills do not come naturally to many people. But with a little practice, using these skills can tremendously improve communication with your loved ones.

When listening to a family member, be sure to acknowledge the other person’s point of view. Use non-verbal communication to let them know you are engaged in the conversation and paying attention. This may include sitting up in your chair and making eye contact with the speaker, repeating information back to make sure you are understanding what they are saying, and using body language to let them know you are actively listening. It may help to use phrases like, “What I hear you saying is,” or “Do you mean that….” Using these types of phrases will make sure you and the speaker understand each other clearly and are communicating effectively. In addition, make sure to notice the speaker’s expressions and body language, as sometimes you can infer how they feel by their expressions.

Perhaps one of the most important listening skills to remember is to not interrupt. Let the speaker finish talking. Interrupting can make them frustrated, agitated and communication becomes hampered. Sometimes a person just wants a listening ear, and suggestions and comments may not be necessary. Let them speak freely.

Family dinners can provide a valuable time for teaching and are traditionally a time for sharing about the day and talking about news and values. They can give everyone a chance to unwind, relax and talk together. However, with family members involved in so many activities, it can become very difficult to schedule this time. Try to schedule a few family dinners each week for communication. This can be a time where your family stays connected and grows together.

Be liberal with praise when a family member does something outstanding. Communicating your appreciation or congratulations will boost their self-esteem and make them know you are taking notice of their actions.

Below are some tips on how to communicate better within your family:

• Have a family bulletin board to post a calendar with each family member's activities, family dinners, or special family outings. This bulletin board can also be used to post a chore list, good grades from school or appreciation and congratulations to other family members.
• Have a notepad, dry erase board, or chalk board to communicate phone messages for family members, notes to others, or to let your family know when you have left to go somewhere.
• Encourage an open-door policy: Make sure your child knows he or she can talk with you about anything. If you don't have time to talk when they ask, make sure to schedule a time.
• Plan family time, but also realize every family member needs alone time, as well.