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February 24, 2005
The Art of Listening
"Listening is critical to success-whether as a team member or corporate leader," said Edward T. Reilly, president and CEO of American Management Association. "It's a core skill for every successful executive, manager and employee. Listening is often the best and fastest way to learn more about a project, issue or situation. The ability to listen is also key to developing and maintaining relationships, making good decisions and solving problems," Reilly said. He offered the following tips to help improve listening skills:
Recognize that listening is to your personal advantage. You don't listen just to be nice to others. Listening to executives, managers, co-workers, customers and clients gets you information you need to be more successful in your job.
Want to listen better. See listening as a small investment of time and energy that produces an enormous ROI. Commit to improve your listening. If you aren't already a good listener, you're unlikely to reform without a total commitment.
Prepare to listen. Set goals for what you hope to learn. Identify your biggest obstacle to listening, such as lack of time. Identify how to overcome obstacles. For instance, if you can't give another manager or customer your undivided attention, reschedule the conversation.
Work hard at listening. Don't let your mind wander. Think intently about what is being said. Stand or sit upright and look the speaker in the eyes. Stop worrying about what you're going to say next. You'll have plenty of time to form a response once the speaker is finished.
Limit your talking. You can't talk and listen at the same time. Monitor your listening-talking ratio. You shouldn't dominate the conversation.
Don't prejudge. Most people listen only to those they consider worth listening to and, when they listen, they only hear what they expect the other person to say. Too often, they wrongly hear only confirmation of their viewpoints. Listen with an open mind.
Focus as much on feelings as words. Both are critical to truly hearing and understanding the person. A person's nonverbal behavior is one way to assess his or her feelings. Also, be aware of your own nonverbal actions-for example, do you look receptive?
Overcome distractions. Ignore noisy surroundings. And, don't let the speaker's mannerisms distract. If someone rambles, summarize more frequently. This will communicate that you understand and help the person clarify his or her thoughts.
Ask questions. If you don't understand what is being said, question the speaker to get a clearer idea. Ask something like, "Are you saying that…?" Or, "How does that relate to what you said before about…?"
Summarize. Tell the speaker what you heard. Communication has to be two-way to be successful. Paraphrase what others say to check and communicate that you understand.
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