Episode 5

"You should shut up!" Anyone remember that? Need a reminder? Apprentice 2, task 2 and the big guy was talking directly to me! What the hell was I thinking and why the hell was I talking? It was like being hit over the head with a ton of bricks when you least expect it. I heard about it for weeks on end, but now I can sit here and actually laugh about it. I mean, pissing the big guy off that much really kind of makes me chuckle in retrospect, but at the time it was quite the bruiser, let me tell you.

Point being, Michael, like a bad flashback, you killed it for yourself my friend by doing the same damn thing. You were walking in the wrong footsteps…mine! And unfortunately, the shoe didn't fit. Didn't get me too far either for that matter. (I'm hoping that a little self-deprecating humor might help ease the pain here a little). Truth was for me, the big guy was about to fire Bradford. I tried to stop it, hoping Ivana would get the axe instead and I, who was safe, stepped on Trump's big "firing" line. Made him mad, really mad. It didn't get me canned at the time, but I knew I had just played with some serious fire. Michael, you played with that same fire, in the same exact seat I was sitting and you got burnt, badly. You got fired. The worst part is, I'd bet the farm you weren't even supposed to go down then. No one was even talking to you! Bren, one of your biggest archenemies, was on the attack for Stephanie and in a big way. They were about to go at it. You didn't have to say a word. Donald was finally catching on that you were, as stated, a "boardroom scapegoat". As I watched the train crash, I tried to jump through my TV and muzzle you, screaming, "No-no, shut up, you're safe, be quiet!" But it was just too late. You stepped over the line and I heard the words… "You're fired!"

For those of you out there who may think I'm incorrect in my defense for Michael, let's recap. Michael was PM on task 2 and rocked an incredible win on the most difficult task to date, the Motel Renovation. Of course his team accused him of abusing his exemption the following week, but I also noticed they wouldn't listen to any of his pretty valid ideas that week when they had none to mention. Hiring European models to promote coffee maybe a little sexist, but hey, sex sells in the real world, always has, always will. And guess what? The team ended up losing that task anyway and then tried to blame Michael for not contributing (By the way, where was Alex, my "under the radar player" when speaking about contributing?) The same book brains insisted on the now infamous cucumber porn commercial on task 4. My boy Michael was the only one of the bunch to stand up against this ludicrous concept - and for that he got brutally shot down by the bookworm bunch who thought the idea was brilliant. Oh yeah, brilliant! No team won that task, remember? Michael tried to save them but was defeated. He was simply outnumbered. And finally on this task, which was lost by the slimmest of margins, Michael was the one who came up with the concept of mobile massage… and then gets fired? What a shame! ("Massage-a-Go-Go" was an adorable name by the way - and was shot down of course) You got a bum rap for sure, Michael! Never should have happened, but you just should have kept your mouth shut. It was the heat of the moment. I know. Been there, done that.

Now, before I feel tempted to devour the rest of our bookworms, let's move on to the winners. Congratulations, Net Worth! Tana, Angie and Tara were the clear superstars of this task. Well done! Tana showed great leadership. You not only held together what was turning into a pretty volatile team, but you listened to their ideas and implemented them well, even through a pretty rocky start. Angie, the idea was extremely clever and you stuck to your guns when there were doubts. Good job! Finally Tara, now here we have one hell of a strong player. There was a point when this task could have absolutely fallen apart and you really saved the day with your wiles, quick thinking, and straight shooting. You go, girl! Fantastic! Great job! I believe you were the one to score the real homerun and really take home the win for this team. Congrats.

John, you kind of took a back seat on this one, my friend. I'm surprised, that's not like you. Then again, you have been working your tail off on prior tasks and probably deserved a bit of a leadership break. Audrey, nice tantrum in the beginning there after last week's boardroom. Your team responded well to that…not! Stop talking about how big and bad you are and step up. I have yet to see it. This "under the radar" thing may only last so long for you. Your team seems to be catching on. Chris, you must have been hanging out with Craig, I didn't see you much. Finally Craig, my official "under the radar player," (besides Alex over on Magna), at last we see you! Wow! It may have only been for a moment in a pearl store with a crown on your head, but nonetheless, welcome to the game. I know you'll make it far with this low key approach. (Great look for you by the way).

Time to wrap this up with some last words on my bookworms. Now that you've finally hung Michael, who seemed like the only one with common sense, I see a struggle. Stephanie's head is on the chopping block, but knowing that may only make her stronger. Bren is becoming the dictator of the team, but is so off the wall with things like "cucumber porn", I just don't know. What I think is Bren will sell out Erin because she is a bit too nice or Stephanie will go after Bren. Either that, or Bren, Erin and Stephanie are the next three in the line of fire on our bookworm team. Kendra and Alex, whom we never see do anything, are my definite "under the radar players". It's sneaky, I know, and I've stated a million times before that I don't like it, but unfortunately, it's how you win this game. Mark my words and watch it happen, folks!

I'll end here by giving congratulations to both teams this week. Both did a great job. Really stepped it up from last week. Thank God. Street Smarts, you took it home though. Nice win! Nice reward! Well done!

Your Apprentice Alumna,
Jennifer D. Crisafulli


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