Yesterday, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin caused a controversey 'cause he said that when New Orleans is rebuilt it will be a "chocolate city." Nagin went on to say that chocolate New Orleans will be protected by a system of graham cracker levees.

In a speech honoring Dr. Martin Luther King yesterday, President Bush called him one of the greatest Americans that ever lived. Bush said, "How many people grow up to be both a doctor AND a king?"

Yesterday, former Vice President Al Gore gave a passionate ten-minute speech where he critcized President Bush for "repeatedly breaking the law." Those who heard the speech were describing it as the worst elevator ride ever.

A new study has found that three million Irish men can trace their ancestry back to just one man. In his defense, the man said that he'd been drinking.

Yesterday in California, a man set a new record for solving the Rubik's Cube by completing the puzzle in 11.13 seconds. For his next challenge he's gonna see if he can escape from the 1980s.

It's been reported that Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston are getting a divorce. Apparently, Bobby Brown approached Whitney and told her flat out, "I want to fight with other people."

A Texas paper is reporting that lobbyist Jack Abramoff charged a client $25,000 to have lunch with President Bush. Not suprisingly, this is the most anyone has ever paid to have lunch at Chuck E. Cheese.

One of the tabloids is reporting that Senator Ted Kennedy has a 21-year-old illegitimate son. Kennedy isn't denying the story - but the kid is.

According to the New York Post, Larry King and Gene Simmons from Kiss are throwing a Super Bowl party together. The party could be scary because Gene Simmons is going to wear his makeup and Larry King isn't.

The Justice Department wants Google to turn over its records for all porn searches in order to pursue criminals charges. I just want to say, "It was nice working with you, La Bamba."

Federal officials are saying that the animals in the zoo at Micahel Jackson's ranch were never mistreated. When they heard this, the kids who visited Michael's ranch said, "I guess we should have slept in the zoo."

Early this week, President Bush met with the Belgian Prime Minister and things grew tense when the Prime Minister called for the U.S. to leave Guantanomo Bay. President Bush was so angry he told the Belgian Prime Minister to shut his waffle hole.

In his latest audiotaped message, Osama Bin Laden recommends a book that all Americans should read. You can tell Bin Laden is hungry for power because now he thinks he's Oprah.

The New York Daily News reports that Leonard Nimoy, "Star Trek"'s Mr. Spock, will star in a pain-reliever ad during the Super Bowl. Star Trek fans were excited by this news and asked,

"What's the Super Bowl?"

This weekend's AFC championship game is sold out - and a doctor is offering to give a free vasectomy in exchange for tickets. Unfortunately, the doctor is a podiatrist.

Paris Hilton had to testify in a lawsuit recently and at one point the attorney had to explain to Paris the difference between her left and her right. Paris explained, "I don't know left and right, I only know top and bottom."


Have a look back on Conan classic lines...