The new Harry Potter book will prove to be the most
shocking and scary book in the series, when Harry is invited to
the Neverland Ranch.
Britney Spears will give birth to octuplets, all of which will
get jobs before Kevin Federline.
Reporter Bob Woodward will refuse to tell his wife the
identity of the family member who rented "Deep Throat."
George W. Bush will spend so much time diffusing the
controversy surrounding trusted adviser Karl Rove, that he will
not notice that Osama bin Laden was in "Sisterhood of the
Traveling Pants."
After getting more in touch with his feminine side, Mr.
T will open a hair salon called, "I Pretty the Fool."
Atheists will win a landmark court battle making it illegal to
say god bless you after someone sneezes.
Instead, the law will require us to say, "Yo, zippy, you just
sprayed me with some nasty."
Bobby Brown and Whitney Huston will visit their
namesake cities in Texas, making stops in both Brownsville and
How Crazy Do You Have to Be to Marry Bobby Browntown.
Kirstie Alley will call a press conference to announce that
she's full, then say "psych," and eat six reporters.
High definition TV will be so incredibly life-like,
that confused viewers will actually try to push Geraldo Rivera
out of their living room.
Spanish olives will no longer be stuffed with pimentos, but
instead with Antonio Banderas' love of Melanie Griffith.
The world will be shocked when a newspaper exposes the
existence of Quantrell Baldwin, a man who is simultaneously a
Wayans Brother and a Baldwin Brother.
A movie will be made about all the people who find Conan
O'Brien funny.
The movie title --
"The Fantastic Four."
