Okay, let me give you a little tip, faithful readers. After knocking back a few after-work drinks with the girls, DO NOT, under any circumstances, return home and convince yourself it would be a good idea to get on Facebook.

Yup, when I checked my sent messages this morning I had the pleasure of discovering that I'd somehow stumbled across my old orthodontist (wait, what?!) and sent him a rambling message all like, "Wow, Dr. Steel, so nice to be back in touch. I think enough time has passed and I can admit that I used to have a total crush on you. Maybe because you told me I had a nice jaw line. Or maybe it was after you taught me how to use my head gear. That was a very intimate moment for a 13-year-old. Anyway, I'm doing well and so are my teeth. Bye!"

PLUS, I apparently friended the entire boys' basketball team from my high school class and reminded them that I was that awkward girl who sat behind them in Math and occasionally let them cheat off my pop quizzes. (So far, none of them have approved my friend request.) Oh yeah, and I also joined three Susan Boyle fan groups and changed my profile picture to a webcam shot of myself winking creepily. WTF??? I am never coming out from under my bed, EVER again.

Okay, peeps, I'm counting on you to cheer me up. What mortifying missteps have you made online? Or have you ever been on the receiving end of a humiliating Facebook drunk-dial? Do tell.