Dear Dr. O,
Can I get pregnant if my boyfriend leaks? It's not a lot... just a little bit. It's drops at most.

Signed, Foaming Pipe Snake

Dear Foaming Pipe Snake,
Well, it all depends where your boyfriend is leaking... You don't need to worry if it's any place other than his noodle. However, anything coming out of his tinkie winkie during any kind of sex act (no matter how twisted or seemingly innocent) might cause your hips to swell and make you want to eat a lot of ice cream.

Guys leak - it's what they do! Leakage out of your man's chica chica bang bang is not good if you want to avoid passing 7 - 12 pounds of human flesh out of your bojingo. Simply ask him to wipe himself if he's leaking from anywhere else.

Dear Dr. O,
Have you experienced true love?

Signed, Curious

Dear Bi-curious,
Yes, I have. I met the girl that changed me forever in 1966 when working as a watermelon farmer's assistant in a small town outside Los Angeles. Nicole was a beautiful, buxom girl, and she came to the farm one day to buy some vegetables. It was love at first sight for me! When I saw her bend down to pick up a melon, it literally stopped my heart! The last thing I remember when falling face first into a wheelbarrow was her sparkling smile... and her melons.