Hard Study

Dear Dr. O,
I am an older woman but still HOT, and I know men find me attractive. Unfortunately, men have been intimidated by my looks all my life. They are so afraid of rejection they avoid me. I'm so desperate that I've even considered Internet dating. What would you suggest?

Signed, Mirror Mirror

Dear Mirror,
Dr. O has heard that Internet dating for woman has its pros and cons. The pros are the guys you hope to meet, and the cons are the ones you probably will meet. Seriously, Dr. O suggests you try the old-fashioned, tried and true method of man chasing. Write your name and phone number on the wall of the men's room.

Dear Dr. O,
My girlfriend just started college, and she was spending a lot of late study nights with her young, handsome algebra professor. Suddenly, she was promoted to trigonometry after only a month. Once again, she's spending late study nights with her even younger and more handsome trig professor. I know I should be proud of her progress, but I can't help being a tad bit jealous of all the time she's spending with these handsome academic types.

Signed, Funny Math

Dear Funny Math,
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are three sides to every triangle." It seems as if your girlfriend has enough angles to please the entire mathematics department in her quest for education. Dr. O calculates that in a very short time, your young lady will be promoted to calculus.