While it's been often said, I really do believe that the most important people in the world are teachers. And with the school year coming to a close, I'd like to thank some of those "teachers" who so greatly influenced and changed my life.
Thank you to...
- ... the very clever kid in my kindergarten class who taught me my first comedic comeback... "I know you are, but what am I?" (It still works... with 5 year olds.)
- ... the kid who taught me how to make a fart noise with my armpit... and who taught me the saying, "pull my finger." (Another variation... "Pull my toe." I just made that one up... you can have it! Oh... and here's one more variation... "Pull my camel-toe!" You can have that one too.)
- ... the kid who taught me a way to watch scrambled adult films on cable, where the body parts seem to magically become re-attached. (That still comes in handy on a lonely night.)
- ... the kid who taught me how to give an Atomic Wedgie, Hanging Wedgie and Inverted Wedgie. (The kid was a genius. And thanks to this knowledge, through out elementary school my younger brothers, Michael and Harlan, walked at a 90 degree angle, each with a very sore ass.)
- ... the kid in summer camp who taught me how to play "strip poker" and "spin the bottle." (Unfortunately I went to an all-boys summer camp... enough said.)
- ... the kid in second grade who taught me how to kiss. (Even though she gave me that kiss after chasing me down and pinning me to the ground at recess, it was still a nice lesson. I wonder if she's single now?)
- .... the kids who supported my joking around and taught me how good it felt to get a laugh. I really do owe them everything!
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