It's just a couple days before Henry's 12th birthday and he's terrified of going blind. Mel went blind when he turned 12 and Henry believes the same thing could happen to him, no matter how much evidence exists to the contrary. Convinced he only has a few days left to see the world, Henry ropes in Runyen for the ultimate bucket list - they decide to embark on a "breast quest" to see naked boobs before Henry goes blind.
Meanwhile, Elvis sniffs out a joint in Katie's backpack and Mel freaks out. He threatens major repercussions for his daughter, but she denies the joint's hers. Mel refuses to believe her until Joyce, overcome with guilt, confesses it's hers. She never tried pot while she and Mel were married and now that they're divorced Joyce wants to experiment. This infuriates Mel too and Joyce fires back, accusing Mel of being too uptight. He dismisses her comment, but when his new neighbor (and recent divorcé), Principal Sloan, offers up sound advice to loosen up or risk alienating Katie altogether, Mel eventually agrees... and decides to smoke some pot.
Henry and Runyen's mission quickly crumbles into a series of near misses. They peep in at a teacher's house, aware that she breast-feeds every morning before school. But when she turns around, instead of seeing her bare all, they're horrified to see a crazy, double-pump contraption! They resolve to sneak into the high school girls' locker room, except they somehow end up in the boys' locker room and get caught red-handed.
Mel prepares to smoke his first joint ever and, after a quick brush with a couple policemen, he finally lights up. Minutes later, he calls Joyce from either the attic or the basement (all he knows is he took stairs to get there). She arrives to keep him company while he deals with being high. In addition to spurring a fascination with orange juice, the pot also helps Mel realize exactly how difficult he is on a regular basis and he apologizes to Joyce. His blindness makes him a control freak. Joyce understands, but warns him that this will not stop her from trying new things - like tattoos. Mel cringes.
Bummed and still scared about his impending blindness, Henry comes clean to his dad about his anxiety. Mel assures him the condition isn't hereditary and it's okay to admit he doesn't want to be like his father - no one wants to be blind. Not even Mel! This relaxes Henry and he heads to bed, finally calmed about turning 12. Little does he know that his parents organized a surprise party in the basement with all his friends. Mel pretends he needs help with a blown fuse and brings Henry downstairs, totally oblivious to fact his son's wearing nothing but tighty-whiteys! Turns out the only boobs seen on Henry's birthday were his.
Terrified he might go blind on his birthday, Henry embarks on an important sightseeing mission.