By Fern Dell Smith

I'm a big fan of inertia and complaining, so you wouldn't expect that I'd be good at this green business. I don't stick to diets and even though I've paid for a gym membership until the end of the world (December 21, 2012, natch), I couldn't tell you the gender of the person working the front desk. For all I know, there isn't even a front desk at my gym anymore at all.

That said, I am green in little, easy ways, and you can be too. Here's what I do. Let's see if you're unambitious enough to follow my lead.

I walk. I'm lucky enough to live near stores and restaurants in LA, so when possible, I actually stroll around with my dog, Chin Wii. It's great for mental health and it cuts down on smog. Plus, your dog might like it, too.

I don't eat red meat. Have you ever seen the warm, friendly, compassionate eyes of a cow up close? Me neither. But the point is: red meat is gross and heavy and it messes up the environment.

I don't litter. My apartment is a pigsty but you won't find me treating Mother Earth with the same level of disrespect. Want to know why? Because it's rude and you look like a lazy, entitled buffoon when you litter.

I never send anything via snail mail anymore. This is more out of laziness than anything else, but I still expect praise for this.

Thanks for reading my Lazy Guide to Being Green. Now I think it's time for a nap.