Go for the Gold Watch
Ryan asks his assistant, Terrell Owens, to update him on his radio show's ratings. He's always second behind his sleazy competitor, El Mandril, and desperately wants to move up the totem pole. Suddenly, Steven shows up with a gold watch from corporate, which can only mean one thing. Ryan looks outside to see a billboard change... his show is #1 now! Terrell Owens celebrates NFL style, dumping a jug of Gatorade on Ryan's head - and Ryan's so stoked, he goes with it.
Ryan updates the support group on his new ratings success. He's on cloud nine, and to celebrate, Steven's taking him out to the nicest steak place in the city. Lauren lets the group know she's no longer eating red meat on advice from her fiance Wyatt, and though she tries to veil it, everyone realizes the decision is killing her. Lauren loves meat, but can't eat it! Danny's divorce has finalized, and he's trying to get back in the game, though his flirting tactics are at a sixth-grade level. When Mr. K offers to help Danny using his patented soul-mate algorithm, Owen and Anne set out to uncover Mr. K's true identity once and for all.
Ryan King is enjoying his new #1 limelight at the city's most posh steak house with Steven. When Ryan notices radio nemesis Rich Eisen sitting at a nearby booth, he takes the opportunity to gloat-walk past him... not once, but twice. Steven thinks Ryan ought to be extremely happy now, but this only serves to make Ryan question his whole life - if he's not happy now, when will he ever be? Ryan has an anxiety attack, grabs his piping-hot food from the waiter and barricades himself in the men's room.
Lauren comes to Ryan's aid in the bathroom; he's called her to talk him down from his heightened anxiety. Lauren is quick to offer support, though the giant porterhouse steak in Ryan's hands is awfully distracting. He lets her at it, and it's as if she was eating food for the first time. Ryan was hoping a huge win in his life would help bring him back to normal, but it didn't. Lauren tells him that only he can make himself happy, nothing external. She suggests he try helping someone else. It's the best way to build personal self-esteem.
Lauren's advice turns out to be a complete disaster. Ryan joins the Big Brother program and winds up with a jerky rich kid who's driving him off the wall. Lauren suggests Ryan help someone he already has a personal relationship with; looking around the group, Ryan realizes he can help Danny in his shaky quest to win Sonia's heart. Seizing the opportunity, Anne and Owen suggest throwing a party at Mr. K's house to help Danny practice his social skills. To their surprise, Mr. K agrees... they've broken through a wall.
Preparing for the party, Anne and Owen are taken aback by the normality of Mr. K's place. The only peculiarity is the lone pillow on the couch that reads, "Stay in there and think about what you did." Anne and Owen set out to uncover its meaning. Meanwhile, Ryan is excited at Danny's progress - he even decided to get sentimental and wear the coat his father courted his mother with! But when Danny shows up in a bellman's outfit, Ryan, Terrell and Steve scramble to give Danny a makeover before Sonia arrives. Unfortunately for Danny, when the girl he's trying to sweep off her feet finally does show up, she's brought a date with her. Danny skulks away, resigned to always being a loser.
Ryan approaches Sonia and asks why she brought a date to the party. Sonia tells Ryan she self-sabotages. And since she knew Danny liked her she panicked and brought some random shmuck with her; she even likes Danny too! Ryan tells her to go outside on the patio at 9 p.m. If she does that, Danny will be waiting, and they can fall in love. Terrell Owens walks by in Danny's abandoned bellman's outfit, and Sonia comments on what she'd do to see Danny "in that!" These two have to be soul mates.
Lauren is a little upset when Mr. K's algorithm reveals her and Wyatt to be a 23% compatibility match. That's beyond a failing grade! She commiserates with Steven, who agrees mathematics have no place in romance. Mr. K decides to break out his piano skills, and when he plays "Islands in the Stream," Lauren wants to sing a duet. It's not Wyatt's thing. Steven fills in the male part, and the chemistry between him and Lauren is unexpectedly hot. Mr. K lets Lauren know their compatibility match is a 99%! Later on, Lauren and Steven enjoy running with the joke of their "compatibility," but they eventually see Mr. K might've been onto something.
Mr. K tells Owen and Anne to stay away from the room at the end of the hall, which is off-limits. This of course piques their interest. After hearing Mr. K speak so fondly of his mother, they're convinced she's rotting in there, Psycho-style. When they do finally go in, they find a human-sized doll stuffed to look like Mr. Belvedere. Mr. K surprises them, then explains. As a child, he had dreams of Hollywood stardom, but his embarrassingly short stint auditioning for Mr. Belvedere got him blacklisted in Tinsel Town. His tragic line was, "Stay in there and think about what you did," a failure he's held on to all his life. It's why he's in the group... well, it's one of the reasons. The Mr. K intrigue continues.
Danny has given up hope after seeing Sonia with her date, so Ryan asks the female cook at the party to help lighten Danny up so he can build courage to talk to Sonia. When 9 p.m. rolls around, Sonia's waiting outside for Danny, only to see him leave with the cook. Ryan's attempt at helping someone failed miserably. He takes Sonia out for a drink and promises her the right guy is just around the corner. Sonia just has to commit herself to being happy. To prove his point, Ryan breaks the gold watch he got for being #1. Now Sonia will always have a reminder of the exact time she made the commitment to live happier. She hugs Ryan, saying it's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for her.