Comeback Player of the Year

Season 1
Episode 114
Air Date 01/22/13
TV-PG

The group is on tenterhooks, all excited that one of their former members, Simone, is returning. According to Yolanda, Simone is "the most awesome, coolest person that's even been in this group." In fact, everyone's dressed up: Anne's wearing a dress and George put his earring back in and colored his hair. Sonia thinks Lauren hates Simone, but Lauren denies it; Simone merely demands a lot of attention and is prone to exaggeration...

When she finally makes her grand entrance, Simone gifts everyone with matching scarves from Marrakesh; Ryan gets a watercolor portrait of himself. Then she tells her story: Simone joined the group after a tragic injury forced her to say farewell to her dancing career - for both of which, Lauren sidelines to Ryan, there's no evidence. Simone went to Europe to seek beauty and make art. There she met her soul mate Marco, a poet. She proposed marriage, but he disappeared on their wedding day. Simone's story is a tough act to follow, but Ryan tries. Steven has informed him that from now on, his show is going to be 15 minutes shorter. No one cares except for Mr. K, who announces his intention to revenge Ryan's ultimate betrayal, playing "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" on his phone and walking off to get 'er done.

Anne finds Danny in the hallway, gathering his divorce papers. It seems he has a crush on someone in the group... Unfortunately, his ex picked out the lawyer they're both using, and Danny's sure to get screwed. Pleased to hear about Danny's crush, Sonia asks Anne to help him with the divorce. Mr. K corners Steven in K-BAL's parking garage and throws down the gauntlet - which means he uses a gauntlet to slap Steven's face twice, once for each seven and a half minutes he's cutting from Ryan's show. Mr. K holds up his iPhone, playing "Dirty Deeds," just as Carrie spies Steven's beloved car, which has been turned upside down.

Ryan tracks Lauren down in her yoga class to complain about Simone, whom he thinks is taking over the group. They're all over at Anne's house painting each other's beauty... It sucks, so Lauren needs to eliminate her. Lauren advises Ryan to do nothing, but instead he runs over to Anne's to deliver his message to Simone in person. Simone thinks there's room for both of them, but Ryan presses on, trying to win the group to his side. Mr. K points out that it's Yolanda the group doesn't want. Finally, Ryan makes the group choose, Simone or him. It's not long before he's back at Lauren's yoga class to tell her his plan backfired...

In his lawyer's office, Danny reviews his divorce agreement. Despite the suspicion he's being rooked, he's just about to sign when Anne rushes in to take charge - she's Danny's new lawyer. Across town, Ryan has Terrell Owens in the booth. Terrell's hoping for an apology for the time Ryan threw food at him, and he gets one, even if it is lousy. Just then Simone calls into the show, asking Ryan to reconsider her. Simone spreads awesomeness and Ryan should go out with her some time so she can prove it. Terrell agrees: Simone seems attractive from her voice, and Ryan needs serious help.

Steven tries to hide behind his desk when Mr. K appears with a covered bird cage. Mr. K has come to make amends offering up a rare African grey parrot (in actuality, a pigeon) for his attacks on Steven and for pouring superglue on Steven's girlfriend's (in actuality, Carrie) keyboard. Steven admits he's not mad at Mr. K, he's mad at Ryan, who refuses to understand the minutiae of the radio business. Mr. K's all ears - he loves minutiae! - asking, "Can I take notes?" Steven tells him not to bother, ordering Carrie to do it instead...

Anne plays hardball with Danny's ex-lawyer Harvey, who's now solely representing Danny's wife. He promises to take Anne to court and eat her for lunch, which is just the kind of dirty talk she likes to hear. She may be a divorce attorney, but her specialty is winning, and she can bend any jury to her will. That night, Ryan hits a bar with Simone, who's filled with cliches, feels a storm coming on in her dance leg and wants to play Truth or Dare. After a few goes, Ryan has to admit that Simone is either the most interesting person he's ever met or a pathological liar. When Simone asks what about her makes him so crazy, Ryan admits the group is really helping him get over his grief and he doesn't want Simone messing with that.

Mr. K stands in front of a crazy diagram on a whiteboard. Now he understands the complex web of challenges Steven faces at work every day, for which Steven is supremely grateful. But he has no idea the impression he makes when he calls Mr. K buddy. Mr. K offers to help Steven pull a prank on a lesser pair of buddies. Steven does want to teach Ryan a lesson about taking him for granted and Terrell wants to join in the fun.

Danny tells the group that Anne is a miracle worker and poises his pen to sign his divorce papers. Anne stops him - she's going to get more, more, more including Danny's wife's diaphragm! Anne lapses into a diatribe: she's using her fury at her own dead wife to fuel the divorce battle. It turns out Anne's wife never took her heart meds, which lead to her death. Anne's so angry she can no longer sleep in their bed, because every night her wife lied to her there, saying she took her medication. The group advises Anne to let go of her anger, remember the good times with her wife and try sleeping in her own bed. Starting tonight.

Simone takes Ryan up to a rooftop to show him the world is full of magical things. That's when it starts raining. Does Ryan still think she's full of it? Saying he's not certain he cares, Ryan offers her his jacket and a kiss. Meanwhile, the group gathers at Anne's house to eat Fausta's First Night Cake, made with breast milk (ew!) and support Anne on her first night in her own bed. Finally, Anne's feeling strong and determined. She yanks open her bedroom doors only to find post-coital Ryan and Simone in her bed! Everyone's a little grossed out until Simone hops out of bed naked to explain...

After thanking Simone for the experience of the night - a big step - Ryan gives her a kiss and heads to his car... which is upside down. Although both Steven and Mr. K are hiding behind a nearby car, Ryan calls out Terrell and chases him down the street.

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