Chuck

$1075/1 BR - Clean one bedroom in great apartment for the right knight, lady or wizard...

Date: 2011-02-25, 4:20PM EST
Reply to: see below

Hear ye, Hear ye. I, Morgan Grimes, summon lords and peasants alike. Whether you're a dashing knight, a beautiful maiden, mysterious wizard or even a cunning rogue, you're invited to interview for a room in my humble hall. Although not the king's palace, it has a roof and a fine hearth to warm your hands.

I'm an easy man to live with - plague-free, clean and respectful. No tavern drunks or practitioners of the dark arts, please. Tankards of ale lying around and blood magic just won't do.

2 BEDROOM/1 BATH

Amenities include:
-    Working roof, freshly thatched
-    Feeding trough, for livestock
-    Hard stone floors
-    Doors
-    Amazing location, just a few minutes gallop from the castle and market
-    Good credit is a must (gold preferred)

Available 4/1
$1,075.00
(818)-1MO-RGAN

Page 1 of the infamous Jeffster Tour Rider!

Yes, it's true - Jeffster! lives!! We may be running from the law - but never from you, our beloved fans.

The bad boys of Buy More would first like to take this moment to protest our innocence for what we are being ridiculously and unfairly accused of. Even if it does sound kind of PUNK-ROCK.

Because after leaving Buy More in a "Blaze of Glory," it now seems we're living some of Bon Jovi's other anthems. We've always coveted Jon Bon's hair, given "Love A Bad Name" and lusted after Ritchie's women (Heather and Denise, feel free to girlfight over us anytime) - but we're also currently "Livin' On A Prayer" since we're "Wanted Dead or Alive" by the man.

What do we say to that?

Typical! The man ALWAYS wants to shut down the music! Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Rue McClanahan, the list goes on and on... artists whose voices were silenced by the establishment. But Jeffster! will not go quietly into the night because Jeffster! doesn't do anything quietly!

And that includes this summer! Jeff and I are proud to be announcing a series of unannounced gigs. That's right, Jeffster! is kicking it old school and treating our fans to random concerts throughout Southern California, America and the Universe.  We're psyched about the opportunity to live the life of the open road and stroke our outlaw spirits... among other things.

So if you've got a favorite club, annual party, or own a stadium, please leave a comment for us and maybe we'll drop on by! Let the summer of Jeffster! begin.

Lester

Packing up.  Buying cheese-its.  And loading up Loretta, even though she's storing enough supplies for a nuclear meltdown. 

There's only one thing more important than being famous - and that's being INFAMOUS.  All the reports and hysteria are true - Jeffster! rocked out so hard in a true blaze of glory fashion that now we're wanted by the man.  Like Lindsay Lohan.

So we're taking it on the run, baby.  Rocking out as we hide out.  But never from you.  Cause we're hitting the road.  So if anyone has a cot to share, holla out.  Because the van isn't as spacious as it looks - and Jeff is a cuddler.

Rock long, rock hard, rock ON.

Lester

Summer's almost here and you know what that means: pool parties, graduations, 4th of July keggers, retirements, festivals, fans in bikinis - and hopefully, out of them as well.

Yup, it's feeding time for a hard workin' band like Jeffster! To be clear - we will never sell out our name, our image, or our fans. We are not Bret Michaels or Dave Navarro, even if we love their hair. And their TV shows. And their ladies. Carmen Electra, I'm speaking to you.

Jeffster! isn't so much about the money (although we could use the extra cash to help keep us stocked up on new video game releases, imported porn, and recording gear). No, Jeffster! is about the art, the love and the MUSIC. So if your cousin's getting married or your company's throwing some sort of picnic, and you want to ROCK, get in touch with our manager Big Mike, ASAP. He's available 24/7 unless he's fishing, on a donut break or at Subway. Our summer schedule's bound to fill up fast.

And, we're pleased to announce, Jeffster! is planning its first road tour! Dates will be worked out, but we're planning some surprise gigs for sure. So if you've got a favorite club or party venue you think is worthy of Jeffster! let us know that too. Loretta is getting a new set of brakes for the occasion.

Oh, and of course, we'll be keeping it real with you - pictures, set lists, details, pictures of hotties, etc. To get it started, get a load of these scenes from last Saturday, a certain Rhonda R.'s 20th annual sweet sixteen birthday party - hollah grrrl!   

Rock long, rock hard,

Jeffster!

Jeff here of Jeffster! Rocking it out for all our bodacious fans - including our newest fan Kaylee of the beautiful Two and a Half Amigos Waitresses. Who I'm hoping wasn't too drunk to remember me from our Saturday night gig. Because she is super awesome when she is super sloshed. Me likey.

Now, Jeffster! may be the most rocking band since Guns N' Roses - or possibly even Dexys Midnight Runners - but the Rolling Stones hold a special place in my heart (somewhere close to Kaylee and the supreme hotness that is Anna Wu).  

Fans have mentioned the Stones as an influence on our sound - and I can confirm this to be true. Ever since we conquered Styx' legendary Mr. Roboto, Lester and I have even been talking about adding some Jagger to our list. Or even some Jagger wannabes. Some of the songs we're vibing on lately:

Start Me Up - Rolling Stones
Under My Thumb - Rolling Stones
Wild Horses - Rolling Stones
Paint It Black - Rolling Stones
Satisfaction - Rolling Stones
Jumpin' Jack Flash - Rolling Stones
Beast of Burden - Rolling Stones
Under Pressure - David Bowie
Changes - David Bowie
Fame - David Bowie
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
D'yer Mak'r - Led Zeppelin
Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin
Evil Woman - ELO
Livin' Thing - ELO
Sussudio - Phil Collins

Thoughts?  Ideas?  Phone numbers?

Rock long, rock hard,
Jeff

"Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends."

Squash the rumors, cancel the funeral, dry those tears, because yes friends, Jeffster! is back. And we are better than before, more virile, and more potent than a jar of Jeff's jungle juice. And now we've got a blog - our direct connection to you - the greatest fans of this or any generation. The internet is the final nail in the Big Media coffin. It's time to bring the message and the music to the people. And we will.

First, we'd like to address the rumors of our demise. Yes there was a Schism. But after some soul searching, both of us now chalk it up to a bump in the creative road of life. And life is too short and too bumpy. So Jeffster! has risen from the ashes of despair, ready to soar to new highs. Yes, even musical highs. (Thanks in no small part to Big Mike, our new manager).

We'll close this first post with a shout out to Jeffster! fans everywhere. You are the reason we get up every morning (or afternoon, depending). Especially our female fans. Extra especially our super-hot female fans. Really, we only discriminate because we care. Because if you don't look good, neither do we.

Rock long, rock hard,

Jeff & Lester