My friends and I have been having a debate about how to deal with our boyfriends. They all have lots of friends who are girls, and whenever we see them hanging out, it makes us very jealous. Should we be telling them to stop seeing these ladies or do we just need to calm down?

Green Girls
Jamaica Queens, NY

Dear Green,

Last field day, I had Janet locked in a week early as my partner for the three-legged race.
She had her growth spurt early, and where everyone else saw a sasquatch, I saw my
ticket to three-legged race domination. But that weekend, she was going to a pool party I wasn't even invited to, full of the most conniving fourth graders you've ever seen. I told her I trusted her, but I still sweated and fretted all Saturday and Sunday. Danny
Hammerstein's mom is famous for her homemade pizza pockets, and how could I stack
up against that? Sure enough though, Monday rolled around, and Janet was there to tie a dirty tube sock around our legs. I think the important thing is that I trusted her. Treat
people how you want them to be, and most the time, they'll live up to that. But don't
expect to win any three-legged races. Especially not with Janet and her yeti legs.

- Q

I don't think my boss likes me. He is very short with me and never compliments me on my work. What do I do?

Desperately Seeking Support
El Cajon, California

Dear Desperate,

It sounds like you are suffering from a severe case of no trust. What I like to do when someone doesn't trust me is create a problem and then fix it for them. Just last week, my mom told me she didn't think that I'd brushed my teeth when I said that I had so I broke our wireless modem and then fixed it for her. Then she knew that I was dependable, and our relationship has never been better.

I'd suggest hiding his car keys and then finding them in the bathroom. He'll feel like his mind is slipping, and you'll look like a real winner.

- Q

I am in love with a guy who has a girlfriend. We've been seeing each other secretly for about a year, and he's finally ready to leave her. Can I trust him?

Naughty by Nature
Bonanza, Colorado

Dear Naughty,

No. And I'll tell you why. When I was much younger I had a dog, and I trained him to bark at all of the people I didn't like when they passed by the window. Then one day he started barking at me. I was mad, but then I said, "Well played, dog. You have already established that you like to bark, and I encouraged it, so I cannot be surprised that you are now barking at me." I'm telling you this story because it's like a metaphor where your boyfriend is the dog, and you are me.

- Q

I consider myself a 9 and got confirmation from several friends before writing to you. The problem is I only seem to attract 6s. What am I doing wrong?

By The Numbers
Walnut, California

Dear Numbers,

You're in luck because subtraction is kind of my forte. 9 - 3 = 6. You have the personality
of a -3. Do the math.

- Q