ATTENTION WORLD AND SCRANTON!

November 7, 11:25 AM

THE SCHRUTE SHALL SET YOU FREE!

Thanks for all your responses to the question that I posed about human body parts. There were many body parts that I had never heard of or thought that much about. I love bodies. They are our temples. I worship my body temple.

Yesterday I had a truly unfortunate thing happen. I was running late to work (as ASSISTANT REGIONAL MANAGER) at Dunder Mifflin and made myself a quick sandwich as I was leaving. I FORGOT TO PUT ANYTHING ON THE BREAD!!! Imagine my surprise when i unwrapped from wax paper a sandwich made only of two pieces of bread with a little mayonnaise on it.

I had to borrow (BORROW!) a piece of lettuce from Kevin and a soy hot dog from Kelly. I then supplemented my non-sandwich with some marinara sauce (from an un-labeled tupperware container) and salt and pepper and many separate strings from a big string of string cheese which I had left in the fridge from the previous week.

BOTTOM LINE: It was a delicious sandwich.

LIFE LESSON: You CAN make lemonade when life hands you lemons and you CAN make a delicious sandwich from nothing but friends and food and string cheese.

SIDE BAR: I am looking to start dating again. I ask you, my fans, friends and readers about dating tips and what kind of girl I should seek out.

I want good teeth. I want the ability to defend oneself. I want someone insatiable, not for sex but for fun and focus.

My cousin Mose recommends me trying to date someone that can help create connections for my paper sales. Like an office manager at a large office. But a hot office manager who appreciates my intensity.

THAT IS ALL.

Dwight K. Schrute