It looks like our old HR chick, "Trampy McTrampalot," ended things with my boss. Breakups are the worst, when they happen to you. I know, I know, it's all part of the game. If you wanna be a player, expect to get played. But there's a right way and a wrong way to end things. It's not cool stranding me in Myrtle Beach once your Spring Break is over and you're sober enough to drive back to school. Unfortunately, guys always want to play these passive-aggressive mind games. I was with one dude who tried it all: intentionally violating his parole, faking his own death, getting a sex change. That's an awful lot of trouble to go through for little ol' Meredith. Better to be a man about it: do me one last time and then file a restraining order. I can take a hint.
As much as breakups suck when they happen to you, they create some incredible opportunities when they happen to someone else. There's nothing quite so satisfying as dating a man on the rebound. When you meet them they're self-esteem is low, they're lonely, and desperate. You swoop in and they're so anxious to be with someone, you can pretty much have your way with them. A guy on the rebound will do some stuff you could never get him to do if he hadn't just been deprived of his dignity. They're so afraid of being alone again, they do crazy romantic things to impress you: bowling, VHS rentals, nothing's off limits. I once had a guy on the rebound cook me a candlelit dinner--totally made me forget about him being too poor to pay his electric bill.
The only problem with dating a guy on the rebound, is that sometimes they're too needy and emotional. I'm a woman who needs her space and some of these losers can't handle letting this wild horse roam free. I've had a bunch of flings end because these so-called men can't handle a woman in heat. No worries though, I just go out and find me another heartbroken man to have my way with. You know the old expression, "two rebounds make a right." It's true. Co-dependent relationships are way healthier than ones where only one person is dependent on the other. So just remember, if things end poorly with one guy, don't get down on yourself, get down with another guy who's down on himself.
