Dwight Schrute was born to serve, defend, and fight in an organized militia, so, naturally, I joined the neighborhood watch. Unfortunately the other vigilantes of the group don't share my enthusiasm for the post. They refuse to hide out in ditches, dumpsters, and under cars. The ski masks and tasers I've given them are not utilized; instead they insist on arming themselves with just mobile phones and whistles. How are they going to disarm a criminal using a whistle? I know how to, but I strongly doubt they do. Most frustrating, they won't let me light my flashbangs; that really pisses me off - I spent $800 on those!
Last week, those morons asked me not to participate in the neighborhood watch anymore (they're still upset about the tear gas incident). Well good riddance, they never appreciated all that I've done. The streets will never be safe without me. Kids will be free to speed down their streets, break curfew, and blanket their houses in toilet paper. It's going to be total anarchy! I'm just grateful I don't live in that neighborhood.
Last week, those morons asked me not to participate in the neighborhood watch anymore (they're still upset about the tear gas incident). Well good riddance, they never appreciated all that I've done. The streets will never be safe without me. Kids will be free to speed down their streets, break curfew, and blanket their houses in toilet paper. It's going to be total anarchy! I'm just grateful I don't live in that neighborhood.
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