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My "loving son,"
I'll have you know, I do not go around spying on my children. I have better things to do with my time, thank you very much. But, really, is it such a sin for a mother to be concerned about her children? At least I take an interest, unlike Grace Bennett, who hardly ever calls home (not that I'm complaining). Honestly, you and Fancy do not seem to appreciate me at all! That reminds me, have you even spoken to your sister since she's come home? Maybe you can have a little chat with that girl because, as usual, Fancy seems to be causing trouble for those around her. I'm running over to Crane Industries today to pick up my (puny) alimony check from your (cheap) father, so perhaps I will stop by your office for a quick chat.
Love,
Mother
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