The Sound of Music
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What was your first solo stand-up gig?
The first time I told a series of funny stories/jokes for an extended period of time was my junior year of college. I wrote a forty-five minute one-man show and performed it; it turned out to be basically forty-five minutes of stand-up with pictures and videos interspersed. The first time I did stand-up at a real stand-up room was three years ago at a room above an Italian restaurant in Los Angeles. They gave me seven minutes and I was so nervous! The first time I performed on the road was at a bar in some rural part of Oregon – I got a ticket to the free white bread and chicken strip buffet and a chance to do comedy in front of my first non-LA crowd. It was loud, there was a heckler, and no one got my reference about a Bluetooth ear piece. But it could have gone worse, in all honesty.
What is your worst nightmare as a comic while performing on stage? Has it happened?
My worst nightmare is that I will be using the restroom, pooping, when the MC calls me to the stage and I'll be stuck on the toilet. My other worst fear onstage is saying something I can't talk my way out of.
At what age did you realize you were funny? Why? Tell us the story.
It all started when I was born...this story is really long, it's like a 25-year-long story.
Who are your comic influences? What are your comedic influences?
I grew up watching and admiring Adam Sandler, it started with "SNL" and his albums, then I became a huge fan of his movies. "SNL," "Kids in the Hall," and "In Living Color" – their characters were huge influences and eye openers to other worlds of comedy for me. Other comedic influences include the State of Texas, high school sports, my parents, annoying women, and creepy men.
What is the worst job you have ever had?
One was when I worked at the Speedo store in high school for three days. I had to wear shorts and hated that because I was never able to get my legs tanned. The store was freezing and I had to watch European guys try on Speedos and act like I cared. The absolute worst job I ever had was working in an office. I worked in a cube that faced a wall in an office so cold I was wearing sweaters to work in the summer time. The owner of the company hooked up cameras to monitor us and would call every 15 minutes to yell about how no one was working hard. When I would leave at six o'clock my boss would always look at his watch and act like I was trying to leave early. Meanwhile, he would have his pot delivered to our office monthly.
What are some of your favorite television shows? Movies?
Wow, this is like filling out my MySpace page. I love "Kids in the Hall" – I think their stuff is amazing. "In Living Color," "SNL," "Throw Down with Bobby Flay," "Arrested Development," "Will and Grace," "Family Guy," "Rock of Love," MTV's "True Life," etc. Pretty much anything that is informative on some level and happens to be on if and when I'm home at night. As for movies, we can talk about that in person.
What do you hope to gain by becoming the Last Comic Standing?
I hope to gain a little ground in this comedy marathon. I hope it will get me booked more, which will allow me to perform more often and be better when I do it. Of course we all want the recognition; I can't even say I want respect. Winning a show doesn't get you respect. In fact, it could even get you the opposite. The only thing people can respect is a good work ethic and being funny on stage – which I have and am already. I want more chances and opportunities to work. That's what I will always want.
Most embarrassing moment? Have you recovered?
I'm a comedian; there isn't much I can't laugh off. I spend most of my time embarrassed for other people. It's exhausting.
Give us your best "knock knock" joke.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Best knock, knock joke ever. Best knock, knock joke ever who? I can't see you; you must not exist.
What is the worst question you have ever been asked in an interview?
I hate the "why are you funny" question. I, fortunately and unfortunately, don't have any sob stories about my upbringing. I was never burned in a fire as a child, I was never beaten up by a shark, and my parents weren't monsters. I'm funny because that's how I was made. It's a boring answer but it's the most honest one I can give. I was also born a guy.