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So now we are down to three, and next week the competition wraps up with an hour on Tuesday at the usual time and a 90-minute show on Wednesday when the winner will be revealed. Then I guess our old pals like Kyle and Joey from Idaho will have to find some other blogging producers to abuse.
This week we will answer your questions first, then offer some thoughts that are sure to spark a fascinating debate about what Season Five should look like.
OK, this week's postings started with some fairly offensive remarks about us and then everyone got distracted by the show itself and started discussing that, which made a refreshing change. Mel Gibson even got in on the act. Anyway, this is what you said, and here's what we say:
Jess and Leslie posted up a storm. The lovely Jess had this to say:
"Dan is such a *****. First he tells us to go to our homework. Then he tells us we are crazy. Condescending, self-righteous, superiority complex, douchebag, *****. Oh, I said negative things about you... now I'm crazy. Maybe I'm honest. True, I wouldn't say this to your face. Nor would any of the people around you. But they are all laughing as they read it. Because comedy is truth. The truth hurts (yep, you are a condescending *****)... while you are not absorbing this fact about yourself the rest of us our laughing... cause it's true."
Dan responds:
"I have been genuinely scratching my head trying to think of a five-letter term of abuse ("Dan is such a *****"). Oh, wait, does it rhyme with brick? Come on Jess, you do sound a little crazy, if that doesn't sound too condescending. Comedy is indeed truth, but is truth comedy? God, I'm starting to sound like you."
Happily, the debate then turned to Jane. Having previously lured Jane in with some positive comments about her natural look, and the remark (which Jane thought was meant as a compliment, but took as an insult) about her being the Ann Coulter of comedy, Leslie switched it up:
"Jane, you commented on me calling you the Anne Coulter of comedy – uhhh, you took
it too literally. I wasn't commenting on your politics. It was more a comment like... Jane Lipsitz is to comedy what Anne Coulter is to politics. You, like Anne Coulter, are probably secretly very happy that someone is even bothering to blog about you. You know as much about comedy as Anne Coulter does about politics. Prove me wrong... tell us a joke you have written yourself on this very blog."
Jane responds:
"Oh my gosh I do so apologize for insinuating that you were a well-intentioned person. Thank you for clarifying that you meant only to insult. Ok here's my joke: Why does Leslie spend so much valuable time posting insults to producers of a reality show? Answer: Because she has nothing better to do with her time and needs to get a life.
"Now, at first glance this might not seem funny, EXCEPT that your dear friend Jess, states ‘comedy is truth' so in that regard I guess it does fall into the definition of comedy. Speaking of Jess..."
Then it was Jess' turn to lay into Jane:
"Yeah, Jane looks simple and natural. I prefer that look to the made-up fake look. But, what is going on in her eyes? She seems like she might be mean and heartless to the standup comics. And then brush it off by saying, "It's just business." There are some great buddhist books about having a compassionate heart. Jane, you should check them out. And pass them along to that Pillsbury Dough Boy Tonight Show judge. I'd say pass these books along to the other producers as well... but I have a feeling the only thing they
read is their bank statements, and maybe the journal writings of Stalin."
Dan responds:
"You might want to crack those Buddhist books yourself. The only standup I've ever seen Jane be mean and heartless to was her ex-boyfriend and that was the day he punched her teeth out. Now that actually never happened but it is a callback to our first blog where people were commenting on her lack of teeth."
The whole debate was ended by "Hardly," who wrote:
"Jess and Leslie: I hate to burst your bubble, but neither one of you are funny. You are mean, rude, and inconsiderate. And as for Jane's heart – I don't know her. I can't believe anyone would attempt to judge another person's heart from a PHOTOGRAPH. How much more inane can you get? I hope you both grow up one day soon and stop being a drain on society."
The debate then moved on to weightier matters: Are the people who line up for auditions for Bob and Ross just reality show cannon fodder? It was speculated that we do the auditions for our own amusement, that we enjoy squirming humiliation like a couple of pre-teen sadists burning ants with magnifying glasses. Karen summed it up perfectly:
"Dan and Jane are just pawns of a corporate empire. They are not great souls like Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, or even Oprah for that matter. They don't have the strength to stand up to it. They are just doing their thing and collecting their enormous paychecks."
Dan, Pawn of the Corporate Empire, responds:
"Karen, the last time I checked, Oprah was collecting a pretty sizeable paycheck too. And I'm pretty sure Harpo Productions and O Magazine have a corporate parent. We are just two producers who give struggling comics, designers and chefs a chance to become household names. Was that self-righteous and defensive enough for you?"
Actually, we don't need to defend ourselves, because Gerry Dee, who had a great set at the Top 40 show, was nice enough to post the following:
"Well, as a comic who was on the show, I would like to add my two cents. I cannot begin to explain what the few mintutes on LCS did for me. I saw the power of the show by how many people contacted me after it aired. It was unbelievable. As a comic trying to make it in a very difficult business it did nothing but advance my career in so many ways.
"On top of that, we were treated exceptionally well during the whole process.
"Standup is a difficult business and LCS is the first and only show of its kind to take fairly unknown comics and make them a huge success. That can only help all of us in the business. Comedy is also a very subjective business. What's funny to one person may not be funny to the next, so everyone will have a different opinion as to who they think should have advanced.
"By viewers watching the show you are helping comics all across North America. It might not be perfect, but it doing wonders for standup comedians. I hope to see you all in LCS 5."
Thanks Gerry. So apparently we are not the bloodsucking, heartless exploiters many of you have pegged us as. It's weird that we are criticized for being mean to the comics or in some way making them suffer, when so many of you spend your time raping the comics who you don't like on these pages or on the boards.
After the surprise appearance of celebrity guest poster Gerry Dee, in a rather surreal turn of events, that crazy Mel Gibson got in on the act. He had this to say:
"Any ill will this show has created in the standup comedy community (and it has created unnecessary ill will) can be traced back to a Jew (either a producer or network executive).
"Jewish people in show business are capable of power tripping, and using their power to suppress and shut out those that they do not want. This happens unconsciously on their part because they are insecure and need to feel powerful. It's time to heal this. Be kind to all. Treat everyone with respect and equality."
Dan responds:
"Let's get one thing clear, sugartits. Our blog will not tolerate intolerance. If you want a conspiracy theory to really get steamed up about, turn your spotlight of hate on the British. Think about it: Mark Burnett, Simon Cowell, Nigel Lythgoe, Granada TV ("Nanny 911," "Gameshow Marathon," "Hit Me Baby One More Time"), the BBC ("Dancing with the Stars") and in our own small way, me and co-ep Al Edgington, all English producers. Of course Jane and Peter Engel are both Jewish and they definitely use their power to suppress and shut out those that they do not want. So you may be on to something."
Now it's time for your homework assignment: Last Comic Standing is either a flawed format that needs to be fixed or a solid success with three summer seasons of great ratings behind it. Discuss.
What should the format be for Season Five? Here are your three options:
* ALL VOTING ALL THE TIME:
Open calls, followed by a Top 40 show, after which America votes and the best comics, as chosen by America from the Top 40, appear every week performing standup – with one or two people eliminated every week until a winner is crowned.
* THE SEASON 1, 2 AND 4 MODEL:
Open calls followed by some kind of semifinal or Top 40 show. 10 or so comics move into a house where they perform challenges and go head to head at the end of each episode. Once it's down to the final five, America takes over in a series of voting shows, with one person eliminated every week until a winner is crowned.
* WISHY WASHY HYBRID VERSION
Kind of a mix of the two, but they don't move in to a house together, they just stay in a hotel or something, and they do challenges, and decide who goes into the head to head to perform.
There was initially a lot of support for version one. Pros include no producers/network executives screwing up the show by picking all the wrong comics. Cons include the fact that watching the same people performing standup every week will get boring (remember Season Three?) No challenges would be another con: no heckle, no roast. I think these were some of the funniest moments of all of this season. Trust me, if we end up doing this, the boards will be full of how boring the comics are and how they were much funnier in the old days.
Our choice would be to stick with the version that has stood the test of time. It always works. If we had more house episodes, we could eliminate one person every week, not two, which is more dramatic.
Anyway, let us know what you think. If you want to see the show become America's Got Comics, tell us. If want to keep the show the way it is, then as Anthony Clark would say, "Let them know." Now we have to get back to serving the corporate empire. |
