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COUPLES FEAR FACTOR (3) (1/17/04)

by Fearless Frankie

Six couples remained in week three of Couples Fear Factor. The first stunt would put their communication skills to the ultimate test. Three sets of two couples would race alongside each other in Fear Factor cars behind a flatbed eighteen-wheeler. The couple that could race onto the back of the flatbed first, would win their heat. This being Fear Factor, each driver would be blindfolded and forced to rely on their partner's driving instructions! Although it was a non-elimination stunt, the couple that successfully completed their heat in the fastest time would win a 7-day, all-inclusive vacation at the Grand Lido Negril Resort & Spa in the Caribbean. The winning couple would also get to choose the order for the next day's elimination stunt.

Bobby & Amy were up first against Andre & Amirah. Amirah and Bobby jumped into the driver's seats, with Andre and Amy navigating. Andre & Amirah worked out a system in advance that played off the "10" and "2" hand placements on the steering wheel. In theory, Andre would just tell Amirah how to adjust her hands, like "8 and 1" or "11 and 3." To me, it's just a bunch of math when I'm trying to drive. Tell me right and left for Pete's sake! No sooner had they accelerated then Andre had tossed the number system for good old "left" and "right" commands. About 30 seconds later, Amy & Bobby crashed into the side of the tractor-trailer and got dragged along with it. While they worked to free themselves, Andre & Amirah struggled to position their car behind the semi. After a minute and a half, both cars were back in action, but no one seemed to be able to actually get onto the truck! Once time and the road ran out, neither couple had successfully completed the stunt.

Leah & Roberto went up against Craig & Maria next. With Craig driving and Maria navigating, the couple soon had the car almost perfectly in position to drive onto the back of the truck. However, when Maria told Craig to floor it, he veered a little to the left and wound up launching off the side of the truck and driving the car on two wheels! When they crashed back down (amazingly without flipping over) they slammed into the side of the truck again - shredding a tire and destroying a good portion of the passenger side! Meanwhile, Roberto couldn't tell right from left and seemed to do the opposite of Leah's every instruction. They quickly wound up way off course and never recovered. Afterwards, Roberto admitted he got a little confused on the right/left concept.

Randy & Tina and Dean & Ashley hoped that at least one of them would complete the darn stunt! Rain started falling as the two couples got suited up. Dean and Randy were driving, with their mates navigating. Dean seemed to suffer from "Roberto Syndrome" because despite Ashley screaming "hard right" Dean kept driving left. They too veered way off course. Randy & Tina, however, weren't doing much better. Nobody completed the stunt. Nobody won the trip to Jamaica. Nobody earned the chance to call the next day's order.

Day two found the couples inside a warm, dry warehouse. That was the good news. The bad news was that the stunt involved gushing, raw sewage - a Fear Factor first! Since nobody had won the first day's stunt, the kind folks at Fear Factor decided to carry it over. The winners of the sewage swim would not only win the trip to Negril, but they'd also win $10,000. The losing (i.e.: slowest) couple would be eliminated. Rival couples Amy & Bobby and Randy & Tina were up first. Before they started, Randy ripped his shirtsleeve off to reveal his felt pen tattoo that said: Amy & Bobby "In Memory Of" GO HOME. He had also enlisted Craig's help in creating numerous other pen tattoos on his back and stomach slamming Amy & Bobby (who have a zillion REAL tattoos that have nothing do with Randy & Tina). You follow? Yeah, I don't even think high school was this complicated.

The stunt involved side-by-side dumpsters filled with trash. Long, narrow clear chutes lead into each dumpster. Each guy sat beneath the chute and was handcuffed to the outside, popping their heads up inside of it. As tons of raw sewage (imagine the smell!) was pumped down the chute at their faces, their partners would have to navigate the rapidly filling dumpster, crawl up the narrow chute and retrieve the key to the cuffs. Once back outside the chute, the girls would free their men. The first guy to release a Fear Factor flag from the edge of the dumpster would win the heat for his team. When time started, Tina made it into the chute first, but was knocked back out by the first pounding wave of brown slime. She crawled back up only to get knocked out a second time! Amy, on the other hand, was still in the chute and working the combination lock to free the handcuff keys. To everyone's surprise, Tina had managed to free the key before getting knocked out the second time. She soon released Randy who quickly grabbed the flag and stopped the clock at 46 seconds. Over a minute later, Amy got the key only to lose it as she "surfed" out of the chute. Meanwhile, Bobby kept getting a face full of sewage! Amy searched the dumpster for the key, but didn't have much luck. Two more minutes passed before Amy finally found it. It was a disaster of epic Fear Factor proportions. Their final time was 3:57. Things were not looking or smelling good for Bobby & Amy.

Craig & Maria and Roberto & Leah took to the dumpsters next. Leah dove right into the chute, but Maria was a bit hesitant - especially once the first round of icky brown water with mysterious chunks started flowing. Leah got the key, but well after the winning time. Still, she freed Roberto and he snagged the flag at 1:13. Maria had Craig freed soon after for a final time of 1:44. Neither couple would be eliminated, but neither couple had beat Tina & Randy. Power couples Dean & Ashley and Andre & Amirah were up last.

Both teams were evenly matched as both women struggled with the combination locks while being pummeled with sewage. Ashley got the key first and worked quickly to try and outrun Amirah. Once he was free, Dean stopped the clock at 49 seconds - meaning Randy & Tina had won the trip, the $10,000 and the chance to pick the order at the next stunt. Andre & Amirah finished close behind with 51 seconds, which meant Bobby & Amy were eliminated from Couples Fear Factor. I for one was sad to see them go!