Original Airdate: 10/25/04
by Fearless Frankie
Creepy. Crawly. Ooky. Spooky. Sounds like a typical Fear Factor, no? But THIS Fear fans was a special Halloween Fear Factor! (insert evil laugh here) Speaking of Halloween, if you haven't watched the terrifying gross highlight reel online, click here to be thoroughly disgusted. Now, picture Frankenstein's laboratory with its wires, tanks and gizmos. Six new players arrived in the Fear Factor version of Frank's Lab - complete with giant electrical charges zapping the stank air. The players, one of whom seemed to be wearing a Halloween costume (think Ben Stiller in Starsky & Hutch or any of Vince Vaughn's team members in Dodgeball), were appropriately shocked when Joe explained the stunt. In a one minute time period, each player would have 2 MILLION volts of electricity coursing through them as they transferred bolts from one metal barrel to another. As Joe explained, the infamous electric chair uses only 2 THOUSAND volts of electricity to complete its deadly deed. Starsky, I mean John, was up first. He wore blue polyester gym shorts with white piping, complemented by a blue and white polyester warm-up jacket circa 1978. Completing the ensemble was a blue sweatband around his head and large aviator sunglasses - which Joe promptly made him remove.
Joe asked John about his fetching attire and John explained that 1978 to 1982 were great years so "why not stay there?" I'm guessing John was single; the other players thought he was "goofy as hell." John was soon transferred from 70s wannabe to chain mail knight as he donned the required protective gear and got into position. Soon a giant lightening bolt shot down from the ceiling into John - and stayed there while he ran between the two barrels. He removed bolts from one barrel and transferred them into the other barrel while the giant electrical charges continued to zap his head, arms and legs! At the end of 58.6 seconds, he had successfully transferred 9 out of 12 bolts. Afterwards, John calmly told the others that despite almost losing bowel control he "gathered his thoughts and moved on." Whoa dude, that's gnarly. Finally a "real human," as Joe said, was up. Tiffany suited up - motivated by her desire to financially help her mom who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Tiffany definitely had a more girly way of running from one barrel to another. She daintily held up one side of the chain mail suit, as you might a long evening gown, as she trotted across the beam. She had trouble removing the 8th bolt, which caused time to run out as she was transferring the 9th bolt. Consequently, the 9th bolt did not count. Tiffany's final count was 8 bolts in 54.1 seconds. She said her feet were burning from the current of electricity the entire time! Keith, a 21-year-old who could easily pass for 15, was up next. He did well, struggling only a second with bolt number 5. Each time he grabbed a bolt you could see the electric charges shoot from him to the barrel. It was if each player had some electrifying super power - Lightening Man to the Rescue! And Keith did provide super results. He transferred 10 bolts in 56.1 seconds.
Jennavecia, with her crooked baseball hat and sassy attitude, was up next. She had to get 8 bolts in 54.1 seconds in order to secure her spot on day two. Jennavecia didn't move as quickly as Tiffany, although she used a similar, girly style. With jarring shocks hitting her every time she touched a bolt, plus the 2 million volts constantly beating down on her, Jennavecia had some trouble picking up the pace. She finished with 8 bolts in 55.7 seconds - she was on the bubble and John would move on.
The next competitor, Lidia, has said earlier that everything is mind over matter: "If you don't mind," she said, "it doesn't matter." Clever Brazilian that Lidia. She also told Joe that she had been electrocuted once as a child! Good preparation girl! Apparently, however, the childhood trauma didn't include transferring bolts while being electrocuted because Lidia missed the barrel on her first TWO transfer attempts! When time ran out, Lidia had only transferred 6 bolts. Adios, Lidia. Michael was the final player to experience the shocking first stunt. A natural athlete, Michael seemed confident that he could beat Jennavecia's score to advance. In fact, he wanted to beat Keith's time and finish first. Michael's height may have helped him a little, because his "wing span" reduced his travel time between barrels. However, he kept having trouble actually removing the bolts from the first barrel. In the end, Michael got 10 bolts in 55.1 seconds - besting Keith and sending Jennavecia home!
On day two, Michael earned the privilege of picking the order in which the players competed. He and the others met Joe in front of a bubbly, boiling cauldron. Never a good sign on Fear Factor. The "witches brew" consisted of scorpions, tarantulas and all their juicy, brothy bits. Each player would have to consume some brew depending on how well they completed a stunt. Using a handy crossbow, they would each shoot a flaming arrow at a distant scarecrow. The number of shots it took to ignite the scarecrow would dictate the cups of brew he or she would consume. Michael chose his rival Keith to go first. Keith hit the target on the second shot then stepped up for his two cups of brew. Keith slurped down the broth first, and then lifted out a whole tarantula to munch on! Tiffany looked like she would pass out at any moment. Once Keith ate the tarantula, he fished out the scorpion. He was shaking as he chewed it down - then licked his fingers to taunt the others. Michael decided to go next and get it over with. He lit up the scarecrow in one shot, reducing his meal to one cup of brew. Michael plugged his nose as he drank the broth, bit the scorpion into pieces, then polished off the tarantula. Michael chose John to go next - saving squeamish Tiffany for last.
Groovy John, wearing a blue satin jacket and plaid pants, had plenty of experience with firearms since he served in the army. But would his weapons mojo work on the crossbow? Yes, actually, it did. He nailed it in one shot. Naturally, John treated the witches' brew as if it were a culinary delight. He had no problem with the bowl full of goodness - despite Michael's constant taunts. Tiffany was up next and surprised everyone by hitting the scarecrow in one shot. That's when she revealed to the group that her grand-pappy owns gun range! Never doubt a Texan when it comes to guns, that's what I always say. Tiffany even did okay with her cup of witches' brew, despite gagging on the tarantula. The guys tried desperately to get her to throw up, but Joe kept Tiffany calm. Everyone had made it to the finals.
The finals began immediately following the second stunt. With bellies full of nasty witches' brew, each player would be locked inside a Plexiglas tumbler filled with thousands of worms, flies and crickets. Oh, and they'd be covered in corn syrup to entice the critters even further! While they spun around as a human insect banquet, they'd each have to retrieve the three keys out of six that stopped the tumbler. Whoever stopped the tumbler the fastest would be the Halloween Fear Factor champ! Tiffany was randomly chosen to go first. Once in her bathing suit, she was covered in gooey corn syrup and strapped into the tumbler. At the "go" signal, the tumbler spun sending thousands of worms and insects onto Tiffany's sticky body. She tried to ignore them while she fumbled for the correct keys. Once she had opened the third lock, she pulled the brake and yelled, "Get me out of here!" Her final time was 1:03. Tall Michael was up next. He reached down to get one of the keys before the tumbler barely got going. Those long arms had come in handy. But as the spinning got faster, and the creepy crawlers clung to Michael's sticky bare skin, he began to fumble. He just BARELY missed beating Tiffany's time by stopping the clock at 1:04! Every second counts in Fear Factor.
Keith was quick to get the keys, but slow to unlock the locks. Tiffany, still covered in goo, watched anxiously as Keith passed the 30 second mark before unlocking a single lock! His final time of 1:14 sent him home empty handed. So only Johnny Dynamite remained. Naturally, his swimsuit matched his blue polyester gym shorts with the white piping. John's strategy was to collect all the keys IN HIS SHORTS and then systematically try them in the locks, rather than collect the keys as he went along. That strategy totally paid off! John freed himself and stopped spinning in only 53 seconds! A stunned Tiffany couldn't believe her sticky eyes. Obviously Fear, and dated clothing, were not a factor for John.