Especially not these guys.

First of all, they're way too happy.
And they're just not dressed appropriately.

I'm not even going to talk about how they're way too close to each other to be effective doubles partners.

They're both on one side of the table. I can either smash the ball down the other side and they'll never get it.

Or I can smash it right at them & they won't be able to decide who should hit it.
Basically, their technique is wrong. They're wardrobe is wrong. The blonde guy is smoking, definitely not cool.

And they're both smiling way too hard.
They can't beat me. Can any of you?

I'm still waiting for somebody to accept the challenge that I've put out there.
You accept my ping-pong challenge, and I will play you and beat you.
We don't have a table at "TGS." But I can meet you anywhere in NYC.

You name the spot.