Nobody's family is perfect.

But this family is trying way too hard.

Personally I think the parents are 1970's porn actors. And the little ones aren't even their kids. I think their real kids ran away when the parents were high. And I don't think these adults the type to ever lock their doors. So, the kids in this painting, just started hanging out their house because they always had food laying around. But on picture day, these adults were able to keep it together long enough to almost look normal family. This family is definitely hiding something. There's no way they're that lifeless and happy.

I'm glad I didn't grow up in this family. All right, gotta write some sketches that star Jenna for Liz. It wasn't my idea. But it's my job. Gotta work to keep up my videogame habit.

Frank

Hi everybody.

This just might be the coolest new painting that i have. A spaceship safely flying in space while a couple of planets are colliding. I'm guessing the desert-like planet is either mars, or some planet that we haven't heard of yet. The wooden frame is really nice too. It's naturalness makes this "fantasy" painting seem all the more real. And paint on black velvet is the correct fabric for this painting.

If you look in the background, you can see how messy my apartment is. Liz often complains that my office is too messy. But compared to my apartment, it's spotless.

Talk soon.

Frank

Hi guys.

First up, Cooper Black, thanks for making sure I didn't forget about the smurf. Good call. And Wowser, thanks for the tips on all the hot Croatian girls. Couldn't agree with you more.I'm listening to a learn to speak Croatian cd as I type this.

And, as you all know, I'm quite the art collector. Here's a pretty nice piece that's made out of yarn. There's just something about making a rug, and then framing it, that works. I'd be smiling in the picture, but sometimes it's hard to be the photographer & the model at the same time. But I think I pulled it off. I think I might have to hang this one up in the office.

Keep it sexy.

Frank

I hope everyone had a great holidays and got lots of presents.

I was hoping to get a time machine for Xmas. Didn't get it. But if I had a time machine, I would go back to 1840 in Yugoslavia and hook up with this chick.

She would be easy to impress, because I'd bring about 50 bucks with me, which would be worth about a hundred thousand dollars back then. But it might be difficult to go out on a date with her, because I don't think her Mom would approve of me.

So, maybe I'll go to Soho and try and hook up with this chick.

Well, I have to write 2 sketches for Liz within the next 30 minutes. I wish I had that time machine, so I could go back in time 3 hours & work on these sketches that are due. For the past 3 hours, I was playing JOUST, the classic arcade video game on my computer instead of writing the sketches. Oh well, talk soon.

Frank