Been workin’ hard this week at TGS. I’ve also been workin’ hard on being kind to planet Earth. Here’s what I’ve been doing:
I’ve decided to stop taking the bus & subway to work. I now bike to work. Biking is fun. I get to race dogs that chase after me. And I get to exercise and get in even better shape for the ladies.
I’ve also decided to cut back on paper. Paper comes from trees. And trees are part of Earth. Trees are good for humans and animals and birds. I remember hearing something about how “trees make the air better to breathe”. And trees are also really good for making tree houses. And who doesn’t like a treehouse? So the way I’ve cut back my usage of paper is, I’ve stopped writing sketches for Jenna. Think about how many trees can be saved by not wasting paper on Jenna. Now I just have to figure out a way to save our ear drums for when she sings. One step at a time.
Not many people know this, but I’ve been environmentally conscious for years. For example, I only wash my jeans once every 2 months. That’s 6 times a year. Look at all the water I’m saving by doing that. Do any of the cool “look at me I’m greener than you therefore I’m super-important” Hollywood hotshots do that? I doubt it. Maybe Nick Nolte or Sam Elliot, but that’s about it.
And “going green” is nothing new. My Grandma and Mom have been doing green stuff for years. Before it was “cool”. Look how they (and my whole neighborhood) dries their clothes. They don’t waste electricity on driers.
Here’s an idea I have to help save the environment and the world: I think all the women in America should be naked all the time. Think about how much that will save on clothes. And think about how much water will be saved, because there will be no more laundry to do for approximately half the population. I’m gonna tell Cerie about this idea right now. She should really do this.
I’ve got some other ideas. In the future I think I’m not going use anything that has to be plugged into a wall. So instead of typing my scripts into a computer that’s plugged into a wall and using up energy, I’m gonna dictate all my scripts to Cerie, and she’ll write it out by hand on the backsides of paper from rejected sketches that Josh & Toofer wrote.
My master plan is all working out, thanks to the environment. No more sketches for Jenna. And I might get to be in close quarters with Cerie! Cool!
I think I’m also not going to use an alarm clock. That uses up too much energy. So, I’ll sleep in and show up to work late everyday. And if Liz has a problem with it, I’ll just say, “Don’t you care about Earth?!”