Chicks dig artists. So I'm back to drawing and painting.
This is a drawing of me if I only lifted weights with one arm & wore a t-shirt that I hated.
I used crayons to make the drawing. And I cut and pasted the drawing of me onto the background to give it a more realistic and exciting 3-D effect. The big arm is for winning arm-wrestling contests so I can get chicks; and the little arm is for writing jokes so I can still keep my job at TGS. This is the best idea I have right now for an ideal way for me to get chicks and still do what I do. But I'd have to lift a lot of weights. So I think I'll stick to writing jokes. Lifting weights sucks. Plus Jenna probably digs dudes with huge steroid muscles - there's another reason not to work out. And Holly, thanks for your artistic inspirational ideas, I'm on it. Next, I think I'm going to do a portrait of Diana Prince. That's right, not Wonder Woman, but her glasses-wearing, hair-tied-back alter ego Diana Prince. Either her, or a portrait of Princess Leia & Han Solo if they went to the prom together in the 80s. I don't know how that would happen, but if it did, I think it would make for a great painting. Then I'm going to paint E.T. driving a Lamborghini and accidentally running over Jenna while she's not paying attention to crossing the street because she's too busy texting her agent on her stupid phone.
Onto talking about my foot that I had surgery on several weeks ago. My foot is pretty much all healed up now. The alien that was growing out of it is now completely gone. (Unless it grows back, there's always a
chance of that).
Gina, you suggested I put the stuff that was cut out of my foot in a jar. Well, the crap they cut out of my foot was put in a jar. But they didn't let me keep it. But I did take a picture! Here it is.
It kind of looks like one of the aliens from "Alien 3" but not the other "Alien" movies. It's got the big head and then the weird insect-like shriveled body. It looks like a dead baby-alien. Gina, thanks for writing. Even your name sounds hot.
I'm getting hungry. So I need to go out and get some food. Maybe I'll get a hotdog. And by the way, big congratulations to Joey Chestnut who won Nathan's Hotdog eating tournament and brought the trophy back to America.
It's a great time to be an American.