I suck at cooking. This is definitely one of the worst meals I've ever made.
People sometimes ask me if I can cook. And I tell them, "I can nuke anything." I'm not saying I'm a great cook. But I can usually make a pretty decent tasting meal using just a microwave.
I'll be honest with you. This meal tasted even worse than it looks. This is a picture of it right before I put it in the microwave. It's corn from a can with refried beans from a can with spaghetti sauce from a jar, dumped over brown rice. The brown rice was from left over Chinese take out that I got a week ago (when they gave me brown rice instead of white rice by mistake). And then I put some slices of American cheese on top. Again, I'll be honest. It was horrible. I can eat anything. But this meal took some serious will power. I was trying to make Puerto Rican/Dominican style rice and beans. I love Puerto Rican/Dominican
food. But this meal totally sucked.
I think I was a better cook years ago. Back in high school I was a fry cook at Roy Rogers for 2 weeks. I learned how to cook eggs really well, because I had to make about 300 egg sandwiches a day. I quit because the manager kept yelling at me, saying that I was cooking stuff wrong. He had a really bad speech impediment, and I couldn't understand a word he said. So, he'd yell at me. Then I'd tell him I was trying to do a good job, but I couldn't understand what he was telling me. And then he'd get angry, & yell at me more. And the angrier he got, the worse his speech impediment got. And the less I understood him. I wasn't being mean. I really had no clue what the guy was yelling at me & I was desperately trying to understand him. But he just got angrier and angrier. And the kitchen was about 120 degrees. So everyday,he's yelling at me & sweating, while I'm trying to decipher his mystery language & sweating. So I just quit. And then after I'd quit, I had to come back a week later to pick up my paycheck from him. That was awkward.
But I did learn one thing from working there - how to do things quickly. Not necessarily well. But quick. That lesson has come in handy for me at TGS. Because sometimes Liz comes to me last minute, and tells me I have to write a new sketch really quick. And then I just think about cooking 300 egg sandwiches in 3 hours. And I just bang out a sketch. And for that, I'm grateful to my un-understandable Roy Rogers manager.
Frank
