One of the great things about New York in the Spring is all the street fairs. Every weekend there’s some kind of cool street fair where you can buy all kinds of stuff really cheap & get lots of great food. Like Italian sausages! But at this one street fair, I learned some depressing news. Bon Jovi is not Italian. He’s Russian.
This picture is of a Russian ornament of Bon Jovi. Which proves he’s Russian & not Italian. When I saw this, I was in shock & couldn’t believe it. And if it wasn’t bad enough seeing one Bon Jovi Russian doll, when I picked up the ornament, I opened it up, & there were 5 other little Russian Bon Jovi’s inside it. More depressing proof. I asked the lady selling the ornament if Bon Jovi was Russian & she said “Yes”.
As an Italian guy that grew up Jersey idolizing Bon Jovi, this is seriously sad & confusing news. I’m Italian. I’m from Jersey. And so is Bon Jovi. At least I thought he was. Seeing this Russian ornament of Bon Jovi, has made me rethink everything I’ve ever done. I don’t know if I can listen to a Bon Jovi song ever again. The song “Never Say Goodbye” takes on a whole new meaning now. Nothing against the Russians or Russia. It’s a great country & they're great people. They’ve produced countless super hot model chicks, gymnasts, an excellent yet flawed boxer (Drago, lost to Balboa in ‘85), and they gave America something to feel great about in 1980 when we beat their hockey team. But it was just a bummer to learn that Bon Jovi’s not Italian. Especially so randomly like this. Next, I’ll learn, he’s not even from Jersey. I wouldn’t doubt it now. Very depressing.
Thanks to all the girls who wrote nice things about me and my break dancing in the last post. Sorry I didn’t comment back to each of you more specifically. I’m just too depressed right now.