RESPONSE TO COMMENTS FROM 1ST BLOG
Thanks for all the responses guysâ¦and girls.
Glad you liked my first blog. I donât have time to respond to all of you individually, âcause I got 4 sketches due to Liz in 3 hours & I only have
2 pages written so far. So, Iâll respond to a few of you right now.
Britanny, thanks for being the first to comment! I like your style. I can tell just by your name that youâre hot. If it was just "Brit", or worse "Bri", Iâd be like, "Nah, not that hot" â but "Brittany", "Woah. I better do some situps and work on my posture before meeting you".
Erin, thanks for your concern about my car and videos. Itâs hard to find a girl that genuinely cares. Girl, youâre a treasure.
Shirley & Co. â thanks for your support & wacky comments â you got your own style. I love it.
And Alex, youâre a dude. But thanks for your support as well.
IâM AN ARTIST
On to new stuff. This is my second blog, and Iâve decided to post some pics! I got 2 pics of a painting I made. Thatâs right girls, in case you werenât getting the hots for me before, now that you know Iâm also a painter, you wonât be able to resist me. (Ever since Jack Donaghy informed me that chicks dig a guy with artistic skills, Iâve been painting non-stop).
I call this painting "Unishark".
It is a painting of a Unishark. A mystical creature (that really exists) that is part unicorn & part shark.
The Unishark is a good shark. Like, if a princess fell into the sea, the Unishark would save her. The princess would grab onto his corn & he would swim her to safety (and no one would mess with him because heâs a shark). If the Unishark saw Jenna Maroney drowning, heâd just keep on swimminâ.
So the Unishark has good taste too. If for some stupid reason the Unishark did save Jenna, Jenna would probably thank him by singing some cheesy song that nobody cares about & giving him a 10% coupon to her favorite Italian restaurant, The Olive Garden. Jenna talks about that place every day. What a loser.
I showed the painting to Jenna. She didnât even understand it. And she refused to believe that a shark could be part unicorn, because unicorns are on land and sharks are in water. But I said, "What if it was shallow water? A shark & a unicorn could totally do it in 2 feet of water". Also, itâs a well-known fact that unicorns can hold their breath for up to 6 minutes. As usual, Jenna shows her lack of knowledge in any subject that'sinteresting.
I tried to make this painting as realistic as possible. I used water-based paint & not oil paint â because the Unishark lives in water. The proportions on this Unishark are perfect. But itâs scaled down a lot. In real life, the Unishark is about 18 feet long. And itâs the only kind of shark that can never be caught. (Because itâs corn would pierce the boat and then spear the fisherman). Thatâs why thereâs never been photograph of it.
But it does exist. Just ask Tracy Jordan. He was rescued by a Unishark from the East River when he was five. Iâve seen a Unishark a couple of times. When he saw me, he didnât even try to hide, because he knows Iâm cool & would never tell anyone his exact location. Dr. Spacemen told me that some Unisharks can live to be 10,000 years old.
Hope you like the painting. Let me know what you think!
Frank Rossitano
Comedy writer/Artist
