As an honors graduate of the Stage Acting and Game Show Pointing program at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks, Jenna is well-versed in the superstitions and curses of the theater. It was there she learned the time-honored dangers of uttering the name "Macbeth," wishing people "good luck" or acknowledging the existence of an understudy.

But some curses aren't just tradition. Some come from human evil. The recent attempts on Jenna's life certainly aren't the first, but when the would-be assassin obviously has access to the TGS set, something must be done. Jenna's sleuthing abilities are well known; rest assured that this snake in the grass will be captured and publicly humiliated before being turned over to the authorities.

You'll also be relieved to know that Jenna is taking unprecedented security measures, including hiring Moammar Khadafy's Amazon bodyguards. She's also watching a lot of movies featuring tough guys like Ving Rhames and Joe Piscopo. Finally, Jenna's public appearances will no longer be announced more than three months in advance. We hope it's not an inconvenience to fans, but it's an unfortunate step we feel we must take to thwart this ungodly attempt to destroy one of our national treasures (Jenna).

- Jenna's Assistant