So, here we are barely having survived another Halloween weekend. Was going to go as Jenna, but quickly realized (and was told by one of the Gay Michaels) that I couldn't pull it off. I decided to go as Frank instead, by wearing one of his hats I stole from the writers' room.

I appreciate the honesty that goes into being part of Jenna's gay entourage. Once, they looked me over and up and down and didn't say a word. I felt so low, I threatened to raid Jenna's medicine cabinet for the largest Tijuana-brand bottle that I couldn't pronounce. Luckily, Jenna barged in and got mad at the thought of me using her pills to off myself, especially on the night she was set to host a book-release party of her book, "Fame Chronicles," in the back alley of one of New York's hottest restaurants. I guess she wasn't really mad at the thought of me attempting to do the act, but more mad that my job was to roll out her red carpet. Needless to say, everything worked out in the end and not only was I there to roll out the red carpet, I was right there for Jenna, to help roll that carpet up.